The Indian Guy: Indian Costume Ideas

People in this country make a big deal about Halloween. I mean people really do go all out to get that perfect costume. Some people try to find the one that is just skanky enough, or the one that is just unique, funny, or scary enough. It really is one of the most festive holidays in America. The best part is that adults take it just as seriously if not more than kids. I had a guy I work with come to work dressed up as the Burger King. I was a little upset when he didn't go around putting money in people's pocket. I once even saw a man dressed up as a beer keg. Pure genius!

So I was wondering what would be the Perfect Costume for Indians? Meaning, if Halloween was as popular a holiday in India as it is in America, what costumes would be the most popular. I put together a list of what I thought might be the ones people would just go nuts over:

1. Human Condom - With the world's second largest population, I figured this was naturally the first choice. It would say to the ladies that I'm not diseased, I care, and most of all I'm a humanitarian. Besides, it takes a real man to pull this off...

2. Paris Hilton - I feel like more and more Western influences are making their way into India. My favorite happens to be the influence of letting the ladies show off their beautiful bodies. I think no American Celebu-tard does it better than Paris Hilton. With some jail time, and popularity on MTV I'm sure throngs of young Indian girls are just dying to be the next Paris Hilton!

3. Govinda - If you don't know who Govinda is, you haven't seen an Indian movie. I mean, this guy has the worst dance moves, and even uglier outfits. However, he has a strong following, because those who watch his movies, and actually enjoy them do in fact think he is the coolest man walking the planet. His gut-shaking, hand-gyrating, face-squinting dance routine is unmatched in Bollywood and beyond. To be Govinda, is to be the very essence of a man in India. Totally uncoordinated, poorly dressed, yet un-dyingly enthusiastic and of course always in Love.

4. Richard Simmons - Okay I just thought it would be hilarious to see any Indian dude to have the cohones to pull this off. I would definitely pay money to see an Indian guy walking around with a candy-striped tank top, 1980's Reeboks, and more hyper than a dog with rabies. I think it would just be hilarious if one of these famous Bollywood dudes, just donned this Halloween outfit for a great, big, international Laugh!

5. Pimp - Halloween is all about dressing up and being something that you are not, its the one time of year when you can be whatever it is you wish to be. With the population being as high as it is, I'm willing to guess that most of the guys there are horny. As a result, the Pimp would be an ideal outfit. Besides, it would allow them to "smack hoes" or as they do in Indian movies just pull the Sari off in a very mean way. I'm convinced every Indian kid on campus and in the call center would be a Pimp if he could for only one day.