The Womanization of America

I just can't take it anymore! In case you haven't noticed, it seems with each passing day men are becoming more and more like their gender opposites! I mean, I understand the whole Women's Rights movement, and I even think its a good thing. But for God's sake, can a guy just be a guy without him turning into a big wuss? You might be thinking, "Hey Indian Guy, calm down". The truth is I can't calm down. Its just too much.

Last week I was at the gym, and since my ipod is not working I'm forced to plug my headphones into the tv they have on the elliptical machine, and numb my brain with useless tv shows such as Jim Cramer. As I was surfing through the channels I came across some fine reality tv programming on VH1. Like most reality tv shows, this one was like a car wreck. You didn't wanna watch, but you couldn't turn away. Of course, the show I am talking about is "Tool Academy". This show defines "Tools" as guys who "parade through dance clubs, preening and posing while they bestow a great gift on womankind... themselves. They live in their own little world where your spray-on tan defines you, muscles are the new black and no woman, especially your girlfriend's best friend, is off limits. They lie, they cheat, they treat their women like door mats" according to VH1. This show is dedicated to "taking the most arrogant, dishonest, thoughtless and unfaithful boyfriends and transforming them into husband material", or otherwise known as bitches.

A lady by the name of Trina Dolenz who is supposedly a "couples therapist" goes on and tries to teach these guys how to become more husband like. Of course, they don't tell you little details like Trina came to the States in the 70's and was married to the lead singer and drummer of a band called "The Monkees". Maybe its just me, but I'm gonna guess that being married to a guy who is a freakin Rock Star might be difficult. You know, because he's probably having orgies and then tripping out on shrooms and acid in the 70's. I'm gonna guess that she probably had to get some therapy, and now she feels the need to give it out. She probably thinks all guys are jerks, and disrespect women, so when she finds a guy that's good looking, and can get girls she tries to break him down. Look, taking couples therapy advice from a person married to a Rock Star in the 70's is like taking a wine suggestion from a guy whose an alcoholic. Just because he drinks a lot, doesn't mean he knows what he's talking about.

If you look at the guys on this show, you will notice that they are all good looking dudes, who eat healthy, work out, and give two shits about how they dress and what they look like. They also happen to be confident, smooth, and charming. So what! If a guy can get a girl to do what he wants, I say more power to him! Instead of "breaking down" guys like this, maybe we should be encouraging the rest of Obese America to get off your ass, work out, watch what you eat, grow some balls, get some confidence, and go get the one thing all men need...some ass! Its usually women who are gorgeous, and get guys to stumble all over themselves. So what if a good looking guy manages to bag you and your hot friend. It wasn't such a big deal when two nations went to war over Helen in Troy was it?

In the words of Eric Roberts "men are accused of promising the world to get a woman into bed, but women are notorious for promising the world for just about everything else". So I say go on, be a rockstar and slay them ladies, and start a new movement -and let's get some Men's Rights in America again. Heck, if that's what it means to be a "Tool" than I would be more than happy to be one.