Financial Advice

The economy sucks. The US government is bailing out more companies than a Bond-broker in Camden. It is aweful. While the Wall Street Gurus were over-evaluating investments, the US government decided you should be the one who pays for their stupidity. But hey, maybe in that moment, at that time, an idea to fund a company that was selling personalized maneur figurines had a "niche" market. Who knows? Oh by the way, you know whose responsible for the $700 Bn bailout that Wallstreet managed to screw up? You guessed it, YOU. So what can you do to get by in these crazy times?

Well, The Indian Guy has some tips for you. Financially savvy, folks will tell you about diversified investments, and low-risk bets. But I say - fu*% that! The following are some ideas guaranteed to keep the revenues coming in, and not providing an annoying hindrance to your lifestyle:

Prostitution - The way I see it, this is a win-win (except for the whole thing about it being illegal)

Organ selling - Did you know that a kidney is worth $20,000 on the black market? On top of that you have another one to spare!

Immigrant smuggling - You may not realize it, but even though the US economy seems to be in the crapper, there are still more people who want to come here, than want to get out. This creates a silver lining for an entrepreneur whose looking to "help" those live the American Dream, by spending thousands of dollars to get into the country in the backs of the finest trucks and boats. The reward for your good deed is another cleaning company, and the feeling of pride you will get when another person gets to "live the dream" by opening another gas station, or cleaning an office building.

English Tutor- With all the hords of immigrants flocking to the US, there will be a need for tutors of the English language. Unless of course they speak Spanish. In that case, America will feel like a Starbucks in Mexico City. It will have the same stuff, but the menu will be a bit more organized, and the place will be a bit more cleaner. However, for all the Asian immigrants making their way over here an English tutor will be just what they need. Hey, you might even be able to charge extra if you can teach ebonics.

Run for President - Do you have catch phrases? Can you offer theoretical solutions to problems? Do you know how to say cool phrases such as "No way, No how, No McCain?". Do you have the ability to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on bridges we don't need? Do you have the ability to make problems go away, by simply denying the problem exists? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, you just might be able to run for president. With the internet, its never been easier to raise money for "your campaign". Ron Paul, who isn't even a nominated candidate made something like $20 million in one day over the internet.

Facebook Bitch - It seems like everyone hates the new facebook. Why not sell rants about how much the new facebook sucks to everyone in your network? You can sell cool catch phrases like that people can put as their status. For example "Michael thinks the new facebook blows more than his ex-girlfriend Jenny", or "Jenny thinks the new facebook is about as useful as Michael's penis. Sure it was a change from what she had before, but it doesn't mean it works".

I guess, in times like these is when true innovation occurs. Its times like these, where people really get creative about making money, and how to get by. Who knows, maybe this whole thing is a blessing in disguise.