Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

Women are competitive. They are competitive about anything and everything. I've heard women in my family argue about who makes better food, who keeps a cleaner bathroom, even about who has a lazier son. Nowadays, I hear women competing about who can hold their liquor better as well. No matter what the circumstance, there is always room for competition.

However, British women take competition to a whole new level. According to this article 9 British women were arrested for competing in a sex competition! That's right at some point in their discussion about better recipes, to chugging, a woman may have proposed "Oh yeah, well I bet I can give better head than you!". Now as a guy there is only one thing left to ponder at this point. How does one create such an environment so women will start having these competitive thoughts? I mean if a guy knew how to put women in a situation where they'd want to compete with each other for sex, I think that would be a pretty powerful tool to have.

I can just imagine these guys overhearing a bunch of women talk about who is better at having sex. Then one of them approaches the women with a solution. "Listen, ladies. We hear you talking about this, and there is only one solution. We shall have a competition to see who is the greatest skin-slapper of you all, and award the winner a cash prize. Although, we are hear doing this for you, so you have peace of mind, we still agreed to pitch in, and at least give the winner something for her efforts. So what do you say?" The women, somehow probably saw this as the perfect solution. I'm willing to bet that after all the sex was done, the women had to stand before the men, and just like they do in the Gladiator movie the judge had to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down. As a result, the women got arrested for prostitution, and the men got charged with encouraging "obscene behaviour". Which says to me, the cop who arrested these people was just jealous because he was too ugly to get selected as a judge. I mean, I would love to be in that court hearing:

British woman number 1: "Your honor, these skanks claim to give better head than me, and I didn't want them showing me up. So when these guys over hear offered to judge the competition, and pay the winner, I thought it would be my time to shine. I'm not a ho, I'm just a woman with a dream to prove that I am the best at what I do"

Judge: I don't care how you put it, accepting cash for sex is prostitution and its illegal.

You can just picture the woman like the scene at the end of the Untouchables when Robert Deniro is yelling "Your Honor, is this Justice! Is this Justice!?!"

What also surprised me is that men in Europe can get arrested for "encouraging obscene behaviour". Listen, if that's the case men all over the world should be arrested right now, because no matter what is going on, men are ALWAYS encouraging obscene behaviour. How do you even go about measuring what is considered obscene? I mean, encouraging a sex competition may be obscene to one person, but might be worth $2.95 a minute to another.

All in all, after reading this article, I learned two things about myself. One - I really need to go to London, and Two - I gotta keep my ears open.