Freak-Dar

When your 28 years old, and living on your own without being married, a 1 PM "breakfast" is not too uncommon on a Sunday. So like many other Sunday afternoons, I strolled out of bead after a chaotic night the prior evening trying to recollect my thoughts, and piece my night together. My morning started off with the same usual routine of getting up, looking at the time, going to sleep again, getting back up, and then moving to the living room, only to pass out on my couch again for a half hour. I put on some nice beats, and motivated myself to do the most essential of all human things - brush my teeth. After that I started getting ready for the day of football that lay ahead, and in that time my roommate happen to wake up and do his morning rituals. "Dude, brunch at the Diner?" he asked, knowing full well, that it was no question at all. "Of course, I need some grease in my body to clean out the booze" I responded. We strolled into the local diner, and happen to get an interesting table. It was not too far from the entrance, and oddly located such that you can see every person that happens to walk in/out. We ordered our usual food, and life seemed to be in perfect balance.



Everything was fine, until a couple walked in. It was a typical white couple. The guy had a Rutgers baseball cap, a sweatshirt and jeans, and the girl was also wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. Now, in the most subtle way you can imagine, my buddy made a quick, scant glance and turned back to me in the middle of our conversation as if nothing happened. But I new that was not the case. I knew, my meal would not be the same, and neither would the conversation. In that brief glance, I knew that everything had changed. As he carried on the point he was probably making about global financial markets, I did what all good friends would do at that point, I called him out. "You motha fucka! You dirty dog!" I bursted out. "What dude? What the hell?" he said all perplexed. "You didn't think I'd notice did you?" Just then, he knew exactly what I was talking about and made that filthy smile I love to see.



There is an instinct that men have, and sometimes a subtle glance at a woman is all you need for that instinct to tell you what you need to know. When my buddy glanced at this woman in the middle of his story, and turned back to me, I knew exactly what he was thinking - that this woman must be a FREAK in the sack! I knew it, because I saw it too, and I had the same thought in my head. "Your thinking she'll ride you like Seabiscuit don't you?" I asked, and he said "Dude, she must be awesome in the sack, and that is one undeservingly lucky man". I can't explain why, but for some reason, I honestly contend that when a guy sees a girl he can tell how she is in bed, and I'm willing to bet, 90% of the time he is right. Woman have a look and a sexual aura, that men just pick up on and know that this one is spitter, and that one is a quitter.



Maybe its the way a woman carries herself, and maybe its the look of satisfaction or dissatisfaction she emits, but for some reason, guys just seem to know. In any case, the conversation during brunch quickly changed to what she probably does and does not do. "She's gotta be a screamer" I contended to which he countered "No way, dude, I know a pillow-biter when I see one!" I guess, in all of this I probably realized why I was not married, because I don't think I'd be able to have this same brunch conversation with a wife, but that doesn't mean I won't try.