They encourage you to "Discover love, in an arranged marriage". Let me be the first to say, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Telling someone to "discover love" in an arranged marriage, is kind of like telling someone to discover the price of their new car after they've bought it. To me, having an arranged marriage is kind of like buying a car without knowing the price. There is a chance that after you buy it under the hood can be a great v12 engine, or there is a chance that you are left with a piece of crap that will not work, and you will have to pay for it the rest of your life.
People who really "believe" in the arranged marriage system, will tell you all these statistics about how people who got married this way tend to stay together. In my opinion, there are lies, damn lies, and there are statistics. Once again, if you bought a brand new car and got ripped off, there is a good chance that you are gonna tell all your buddies about how much you love your car and you won't admit to them how much you got ripped off. I think when it comes to arranged marriages, it probably works the same way. If you married someone that lays around like a sack of potatoes in bed during sex, doesn't contribute to the income, and is a constant pain in your ass, you will probably tell your friends she's a freak in the sack, "finishing up" med school, and has dinner waiting for you when you get home.
I'm not saying arranged marriages can't work, I'm simply saying that people tend to exaggerate how well they work. I know plenty of people who met through the arranged marriage system and are happy, and I know plenty who have been burned. All I'm saying, is that you will have a better idea of what your getting yourself into if you test drive it first.
8 comments:
Alot of indian people stay in arranged marriages b/c divorce isn't really an option for them. Love your blog by the way.
Unfortunately, this is true. Indians would rather remain in a ridiculously horrible situation, than admit that it is a bad situation to be in. However, I think with the new generation of Indians, we have "no shame in our game" and are all willing to divorce a person, and you will probably see this happen.
Thank you for your comments! Glad you enjoy the material.
Hi just happened to stumble across ur blog..great sense of humor and I like ur style of writting.. great job.
Mine was an arranged marriage and im not one bit disappointed but I would like my daughter to have a love marriage every one need not be as lucky as me :) but i would not want her to be test driven too much before she settles down.My parents dint want me test driven too much either I guess.
Maybe thats the reason we have too many arranged marraiges back home
Dear Julie,
As I mentioned, I'm not saying arranged marriages are doomed. I do believe that two people can grow to love each other over time with each other, and you happen to prove my point. However, I just find it interesting what you said about wanting your daughter to have a "love" marriage, because most people I know in arranged marriages tell me the same thing ironically.
Oh yeah, in regards to your daughter being test driven, I would advise you that its a material world, and your daughter might be a material girl. Whose not to say that she won't be doing the test driving? Just kidding. Thanks for your comments.
When I say I'm not disappointed with my parent's choice for me that’s mostly coz if I had to go out and find a guy on my own I'd probably end up with the same guy. So my parents did a good job and that's a pretty tuff thing to do. So I guess I'll let her take care of that herself.
And why do u find it ironic.... Its one of the most famous Indian phenomenon..... I couldn't be a doctor so my son has to be one :D
...I can just imagine my 2 year old growing up to be a material girl and test driving ... (shudder shudder).. waiting for your next post
Hi Indian Guy:
I really enjoy reading your blogs. I work with quite a few Indians and think it is refreshing to see things from their perspective.
I do have a suggestion if you feel like changing your blog name: The Hindude. It's got as good ring to it, part East Asian and part Western. It's like you are in between two cultures.
Dear anonymous,
Thanks for the kind words. Glad you are enjoying it :)
I had an arranged marriage at the age of 23 years. I met my wife once before we got married...with the whole family around us. I was sat in the registerar's office with my wife and remember glancing over at her and thinking .." this is probably the biggest mistake ..I've ever made..."...but it was too late we both had our families in attendance...and so I couldn't backout...I hoped for the best and thought I could grow to love her.... , but there does not seem to be any physical attraction or emotional connection there. We have 3 kids .., she is a good mother... , but it hasn't been easy for us. I want to ensure my kid's have a better chance at selecting a partner than we did.. . Who knows may be we'll be in a better place in few years...
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