Hangovers

You've been looking forward to this night for a long, long time. You can taste the vodka as your driving into the city, and even the Lincoln Tunnel traffic can't wipe the smirk off your face. You haven't seen your buddy in what seems like an eternity, and you are looking forward to not knowing exactly what's going to happen next. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. There are only two things you know for sure. You'll be with your best friend, and there will be alcohol. Everything else, is secondary. People will come, and people will go, and chances are you will use the island of Manhattan as your personal play ground, but one thing is for sure. Tomorrow you will have a hangover.

Hangovers, are the sign of dedication. It's a reminder that when the going got tough, you got going over and over again. If you have a hangover, walk tall, and walk proud and go into your office smelling like last night . Proclaim your throne, try not to puke, and show the world just what you are made of. You my friend, are not a quitter, and in my opinion that is something worth praising. Most people hate hangovers, and they have good reason to. However, a friend once told me that wisdom comes from good judgement, and good judgement comes from bad decisions. Ordering another round may just be the ultimate paradox in life. The key is knowing how to handle what happens next.

There are a few types of hangovers that most people experience. I categorize them as:

1. Spin
2. Hibernation
3. Joy
4. Cheerful regret

The way I see it, if you have a hangover you've probably had one of the above. The first kind Spin, in my opinion is the worst. You often find yourself wondering why the world is moving so fast, and often find the need to puke several times. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're with you WILL puke. It will be as relieving as peeing when you have to go real bad. It's brutal, it's terrible, it's biology. The next kind, is hibernation. I've seen a man once sleep 13 hours because he was so hammered from the night before. An earthquake would not wake him up, neither would a naked pornstar. When hibernation hits, the rest of the world will simply have to be dealt with later. Then you have Joy. Joy is one of my favorite kinds of hangover. Side effects include an immovable smile, a pounding headache, and numbness. It's what I'm experiencing as I write this. The world feels kind like your toy, and there is no sense of panic or deadlines in sight. Joy is probably the best type of hangover you can have. It reminds you that no matter what you are dealing with, it ain't that bad. Finally there is cheerful regret. This usually follows a blacking out. You will be told tales of an amazing person, and then those stories will conclude that the person is you. It probably involved singing, dancing, and maybe even questionable licking. For better or for worse, it's all true, and it was all you.

So if you have a hangover, or ever experienced one, just know that you are a champion to somebody.

Men, Women & Friendship

Often I've contemplated the idea of a man and a woman just being friends. In the beginning I was an idealist and felt that "sure, men and women can be just friends, and nothing more without sexual tension". Then I grew up and realized how ridiculous that is. Men and women can be friends, but sexual tension will always be there. Women won't admit it, and men can't hide it.

The basic, problem in all of this is the would / wouldn't dillemma. You see, every time a man sees a woman he asks himself the basic question "would I or would I not bang her?" Of course, basic ground rules such as family relationships and things like that apply where this would not be the case. However, for example if I were to walk down a Manhattan block I will most likely ask and answer this question about 25 - 35 times and it will happen within a matter of seconds. The other problem is that 98% of the time the answer is I would, or I would with a bag on her face.

So if that's the case and a guy would not bang a girl, then friendship is a possibility right? Wrong! The problem here, is that when men are genuinely not interested in the woman; 99% of the time that's exactly what attracts a woman to him, and thus, the tension is there. On the other hand, when a guy would bang the girl.....well, we know what happens. He ogles and blatantly undresses her with his eyes, and occasionally gets caught drooling, thus making the friendship a bit uncomfortable.

With that said, I do still believe there are very unique conditions when friendship does remain a possibility. Those conditions are as follows:

- You've tried dating and it just didn't work, so you realize friendship is better
- You grew up with someone
- You form a friendship so close with the other person that you see them as a sibling
- There is a common task at hand which requires both of you to work together, so until your working on that task, you manage to suppress the sexual beast, and keep it friendly (this condition keeps most of corporate America under control)
- You realize that you just don't have a chance with the other person, but they are still cool enough that you manage to be friends

These aforementioned situations allow for conditional friendship between men & woman. I know some of you will read this and say "No way. I've been friends with this girl for years, and she's like my boy. She just gets me. I can go to her for advice and everything." To those people I'd say, "Are you sure your not in love?" Didn't Usher teach us about this on his first album?