You've been looking forward to this night for a long, long time. You can taste the vodka as your driving into the city, and even the Lincoln Tunnel traffic can't wipe the smirk off your face. You haven't seen your buddy in what seems like an eternity, and you are looking forward to not knowing exactly what's going to happen next. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. There are only two things you know for sure. You'll be with your best friend, and there will be alcohol. Everything else, is secondary. People will come, and people will go, and chances are you will use the island of Manhattan as your personal play ground, but one thing is for sure. Tomorrow you will have a hangover.
Hangovers, are the sign of dedication. It's a reminder that when the going got tough, you got going over and over again. If you have a hangover, walk tall, and walk proud and go into your office smelling like last night . Proclaim your throne, try not to puke, and show the world just what you are made of. You my friend, are not a quitter, and in my opinion that is something worth praising. Most people hate hangovers, and they have good reason to. However, a friend once told me that wisdom comes from good judgement, and good judgement comes from bad decisions. Ordering another round may just be the ultimate paradox in life. The key is knowing how to handle what happens next.
There are a few types of hangovers that most people experience. I categorize them as:
1. Spin
2. Hibernation
3. Joy
4. Cheerful regret
The way I see it, if you have a hangover you've probably had one of the above. The first kind Spin, in my opinion is the worst. You often find yourself wondering why the world is moving so fast, and often find the need to puke several times. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're with you WILL puke. It will be as relieving as peeing when you have to go real bad. It's brutal, it's terrible, it's biology. The next kind, is hibernation. I've seen a man once sleep 13 hours because he was so hammered from the night before. An earthquake would not wake him up, neither would a naked pornstar. When hibernation hits, the rest of the world will simply have to be dealt with later. Then you have Joy. Joy is one of my favorite kinds of hangover. Side effects include an immovable smile, a pounding headache, and numbness. It's what I'm experiencing as I write this. The world feels kind like your toy, and there is no sense of panic or deadlines in sight. Joy is probably the best type of hangover you can have. It reminds you that no matter what you are dealing with, it ain't that bad. Finally there is cheerful regret. This usually follows a blacking out. You will be told tales of an amazing person, and then those stories will conclude that the person is you. It probably involved singing, dancing, and maybe even questionable licking. For better or for worse, it's all true, and it was all you.
So if you have a hangover, or ever experienced one, just know that you are a champion to somebody.
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label party. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Holiday Party
It is that time of year. People are making lists of whose been naughty, and whose been nice. Another religious excuse to get drunk is on the horizon, and odds are that if you are in a parking lot somewhere, someone is cursing you out. That's right folks, the holidays are here. Along with all the aforementioned formalities of the Christmas Holiday season, there is one tradition that corporate America follows. Of course I am referring to the company Holiday Party. Most people behave in a socially acceptable way when in an office, however when these same people are placed in front of an open bar and a dance floor the true debauchery is exposed, and the animal within cannot be contained. Undoubtedly this will lead to some cheers, jeers, and a re-enforcement of the sexual harassment class you took on the following business day.
However, as the Indian Guy, I would like to expose you all to a Holiday Party of sorts, that might not be so traditional. I would like to expose you to the world of Holiday Parties for Indian companies. Over the past few years, I've had the unique experience of working for companies who are based out of India. This in and of its self deserves its own blog, however for today's discussion I will stick to the topic at hand. In my experience, there are holiday parties, and there are Holiday Parties - the Indian Way. What's the big deal? You guys don't even celebrate Christmas! What's so special about your party? These are all legitimate questions, but in my experience Indian companies have a way of celebrating holidays that aren't theirs in quite the unique way.
First of all, a fancy banquet hall is usually rented out. It looks typical to start with. You have food, you have booze, you have a questionable and borderline inappropriate DJ, and of course what separates this Holiday Party from all the other HR controlled parties, are the employees. You see employees of an Indian based company tend to be a microcosm of the nation of India its self. They want to let loose, and be themselves, but for worry of perception they manage to keep themselves in check most of the time. However, when celebrating the birth of the Lord (that they don't believe in), inhibition is left at the cubicle. Sarees, business suits, and scandalous dresses make their way into the hall. The first thing you'll notice is that people tend to be a bit more "touchy-feely". By this I mean, a funny remark will get a soft slap on the shoulder (or what I call the love tap), which may not ordinarily be there.
Once the booze starts to pick up steam, things get really interesting. I once saw an Executive get two Johnny Walker blacks neat, and his wife said "Honey, your driving". To which he put up his hand, nodded his head, and softly said those famous words, "Its okay. I'm okay". Which he seemed to be, until he got up and started singing Jingle Bells with an Indian accent. Imagine Abu from the Simpsons, with a slightly slurred speech singing Jingle Bells. Being the good employee that I am, I also encouraged him to sing the "Batman smells" rendition, which I don't think his wife was to fond of.
Now this may not seem like a big deal, but what this did was set a precedent. After everyone saw this guy, people started going nuts. I heard someone yell "I go dry, you die!" to the bartender with a laugh that was more serious than jovial. In my opinion things got really weird, when the 45 yr old Spanish lady started "feeling it". The DJ started playing some hip-hop version of the electric slide and Ms. Latina was all over the dance floor. She was singing, cursing, and shakin her money-maker. Then the DJ played a little bhangra, which got the Indians up in a frenzy and onto the dance floor. Once the dance floor was packed, the DJ did something that was completely unexpected. I was shocked.
You have to understand, that by now the party was in full swing. Corporate jargon was turning into ebonics, and people were yelling things like "Raj, you fuckin Benchod! Take another shot with me" and that was coming from our Administrative Assistant. I had seen a lot of things, but when the DJ started playing Lil' John, I knew the party definitely took a new turn. A turn, that I won't soon forget and this party was definitely kicked into a whole new gear. Now the Indians didn't know what Lil' John was so they just pointed their index fingers in the air, shrugged their shoulders and danced. However, all the Americans were boozed up, and yelling "What! Yeah! ....Okay!". What shocked me the most was when the 45 year old Latin Lady literally "bent ova to the front" and touched her toes. It was like someone flipped a switch and the air was sucked right out of the room.
Lucky for me, after witnessing that miracle, dinner was being served. Greygoose had to wash down every bite after witnessing that. After people had some food in their system, they were a bit calmer, and the party seemed like it was coming to an end. Me and my buddy were waiting to get our coats, and as we are waiting my friend yells out "Oh my gooood! What the hellllll!" I look over to see that the Latin Lady had literally just cuffed my friends ass, and almost lifted him a few inches off the ground! Meanwhile, his pregnant fiance was next to him in shock. After the crazy lady left, he turned and said to me "I feel so cold, and alone". I wanted to give him a hug to comfort my friend, but I was afraid the damage was done.
The best part of Holiday parties is the next day at work. It really is amazing to me how people have selective memory. The crazy lady went up to my friend and said, "Hey, here are the reports let me know what else you need". To which my friend responded, "Oh don't worry, I won't be needing anything else from you, you've done enough".
However, as the Indian Guy, I would like to expose you all to a Holiday Party of sorts, that might not be so traditional. I would like to expose you to the world of Holiday Parties for Indian companies. Over the past few years, I've had the unique experience of working for companies who are based out of India. This in and of its self deserves its own blog, however for today's discussion I will stick to the topic at hand. In my experience, there are holiday parties, and there are Holiday Parties - the Indian Way. What's the big deal? You guys don't even celebrate Christmas! What's so special about your party? These are all legitimate questions, but in my experience Indian companies have a way of celebrating holidays that aren't theirs in quite the unique way.
First of all, a fancy banquet hall is usually rented out. It looks typical to start with. You have food, you have booze, you have a questionable and borderline inappropriate DJ, and of course what separates this Holiday Party from all the other HR controlled parties, are the employees. You see employees of an Indian based company tend to be a microcosm of the nation of India its self. They want to let loose, and be themselves, but for worry of perception they manage to keep themselves in check most of the time. However, when celebrating the birth of the Lord (that they don't believe in), inhibition is left at the cubicle. Sarees, business suits, and scandalous dresses make their way into the hall. The first thing you'll notice is that people tend to be a bit more "touchy-feely". By this I mean, a funny remark will get a soft slap on the shoulder (or what I call the love tap), which may not ordinarily be there.
Once the booze starts to pick up steam, things get really interesting. I once saw an Executive get two Johnny Walker blacks neat, and his wife said "Honey, your driving". To which he put up his hand, nodded his head, and softly said those famous words, "Its okay. I'm okay". Which he seemed to be, until he got up and started singing Jingle Bells with an Indian accent. Imagine Abu from the Simpsons, with a slightly slurred speech singing Jingle Bells. Being the good employee that I am, I also encouraged him to sing the "Batman smells" rendition, which I don't think his wife was to fond of.
Now this may not seem like a big deal, but what this did was set a precedent. After everyone saw this guy, people started going nuts. I heard someone yell "I go dry, you die!" to the bartender with a laugh that was more serious than jovial. In my opinion things got really weird, when the 45 yr old Spanish lady started "feeling it". The DJ started playing some hip-hop version of the electric slide and Ms. Latina was all over the dance floor. She was singing, cursing, and shakin her money-maker. Then the DJ played a little bhangra, which got the Indians up in a frenzy and onto the dance floor. Once the dance floor was packed, the DJ did something that was completely unexpected. I was shocked.
You have to understand, that by now the party was in full swing. Corporate jargon was turning into ebonics, and people were yelling things like "Raj, you fuckin Benchod! Take another shot with me" and that was coming from our Administrative Assistant. I had seen a lot of things, but when the DJ started playing Lil' John, I knew the party definitely took a new turn. A turn, that I won't soon forget and this party was definitely kicked into a whole new gear. Now the Indians didn't know what Lil' John was so they just pointed their index fingers in the air, shrugged their shoulders and danced. However, all the Americans were boozed up, and yelling "What! Yeah! ....Okay!". What shocked me the most was when the 45 year old Latin Lady literally "bent ova to the front" and touched her toes. It was like someone flipped a switch and the air was sucked right out of the room.
Lucky for me, after witnessing that miracle, dinner was being served. Greygoose had to wash down every bite after witnessing that. After people had some food in their system, they were a bit calmer, and the party seemed like it was coming to an end. Me and my buddy were waiting to get our coats, and as we are waiting my friend yells out "Oh my gooood! What the hellllll!" I look over to see that the Latin Lady had literally just cuffed my friends ass, and almost lifted him a few inches off the ground! Meanwhile, his pregnant fiance was next to him in shock. After the crazy lady left, he turned and said to me "I feel so cold, and alone". I wanted to give him a hug to comfort my friend, but I was afraid the damage was done.
The best part of Holiday parties is the next day at work. It really is amazing to me how people have selective memory. The crazy lady went up to my friend and said, "Hey, here are the reports let me know what else you need". To which my friend responded, "Oh don't worry, I won't be needing anything else from you, you've done enough".
Friday, November 21, 2008
Guys Night
I would like to respectfully submit a new term to be used for today's society. I hereby submit "Manledge". I think all guys in their 20's should have Manledge. I think a course in every educational institution should be provided for Manledge. What is "Manledge" you may ask? Manledge is the knowledge that all guys should have to be succesfull in today's society. For example, a course on Manledge would teach a man in his 20's/30's (since 30 is the new 20) to:
1. Know how to get into a club
2. Order a bottle of wine
3. Have a proper first date
4. Plan a "guys night" out
5. How to make a tie
As I look around these days more and more men, are becoming submissive. They don't know how to do the essentials required for survival and are paying someone to do it for them. Bull crap I say! I don't care if your an 18 yr old teenage millionaire, you won't get laid if your date finds out you're wearing a clip-on. I think I will start a series of various topics of which I believe Men - especially in their 20's and 30's (since these are the crucial years that determine if you'll be cool or not in life), should know how to do.
Today, we begin with planning a guys night out. All guys, should know how to kick it with the boys. Most people have the following kind of guy friends:
1. The Player - all he cares about is ass
2. The Cryer - always has a sob story
3. The Overachiever - loves his job more than sex
4. The Underachiever - loves to "talk" about work, but does not actually do any
5. The Drama King - Can't pump gas without getting into a fight
6. The Rockstar - Seems to always have everything that everyone else wants
When planning guys night, you must cater to all of these personalities. Usually a bar/grill type restaurant along with a night-spot is a solid plan for a guys night. When planning a guys night, it is essential to pick a place that has lots of eye candy and scenery (by this I mean hot women). Although the Chicken Fingers or the German Brews might be tasty, they'll taste like crap if you don't have someone to ogle while enjoying them. Depending on what part of the world you are in, you can usually find some fun laid-back restaurants that have a good bar, and then hit up a club afterwards.
There are certain ground rules that MUST be followed:
1. The kids gotta be put to sleep - By this I mean all phone calls with the girlfriends/wives/children/mistresses have to be done and accounted for before the festivities begin. You are not allowed to miss a shot-taking opportunity because your girl wants to tell you she misses you. If you do, you buy the next round, Bitch.
2. Everyone should pitch in - No one person should end up taking the financial hit. At the same time don't bust out your pocket calculator every time a bill comes around. As a guy you should be alright with numbers, and if your not, then the waiter/waitress should get the benefit. Unless one of your friends is a filthy rich prick, by the end of the night everyone should have done a similar amount of damage to their wallets. It is okay however, for the rich prick to insist on buying bottle service and letting him take the hit, however in return you must be nice to him for the rest of the night, and even offer him a drink that he paid for once in a while.
3. You are NOT allowed to call anyone out - This is a big one. When your having a guys night, it is perfectly fine for your friend to tell someone he's a Formula 1 race car driver. If he tells a girl he is trying to impress that your the dude that manages him, you MUST act accordingly. You are not allowed to call him out. As a friend, it is your duty to ensure your buddy is in the best possible position to get this woman's panties to drop. At the same time your buddy must be there for you.
4. You are NOT allowed to bring baggage - By this, I mean everyone is there to have a good time. This is not the time to share the news that your getting a divorce, you miss your girlfriend you just broke up with, or worst you've decided your gonna go thru with your sex-change operation because you feel "trapped". Save it for another night. Tonight is the night to get your drink on, act silly, embarrass yourself a little bit, and maybe even get laid. The penalty for bringing on this kind of distress, is that you automatically become designated driver, and all night long your friends are allowed to tell any hot girl your talking to that you have gonorrhea.
5. Sneak Attack -At any guys night you must be prepared for the "sneak attack". What is the sneak attack? The sneak attack happens when you and your boys are at a place, and your girlfriend, or the significant other of any of your boys also "happens" to be there, or she decided to come out and meet you there. You must always be prepared for such occurrences. Women, usually don't like to see guys having so much fun by themselves, and will interject some vaginism on the night. As you and your boys are taking a shot she may come and give you a "cute" kiss on the cheek, or she may steal you away from your boys to furiously make out with you and / or dance with you. If this happens your boys have the right to make fun of you. In unison they are all allowed to yell out "awwwwwe", then point their fingers and laugh. They are also allowed to be sarcastic for the rest of the night. They can say things like "Bro, you look nice in a dress sometimes" and all you can do is take it like a man. Additionally, if required, your girl/significant other must also be prepared to talk up one of your buddies and help him get laid. For dropping the sneak attack, she must use her feminine powers of persuasion to get girls to put out for your boys.
Now, you have to remember that not everything always goes according to plan. If shit hits the fan, as a guy there is always a "Wild Card" that you can use. That "wild card" is the strip club. It is acceptable to resort to strip club for any guys night. A strip club is a wild card because it is the one place on planet Earth where all of your boys will be satisfied. For $20 a woman will listen to you talk about your project at work, while riding you like its the Kentucky Derby. For $40, she might even let you grab a boob while you explain to her the new wireless protocol your going to be implementing at work. A strip club for guys night should be used like you would use a car for sex. When there is no other option, and when it is absolutely necessary.
1. Know how to get into a club
2. Order a bottle of wine
3. Have a proper first date
4. Plan a "guys night" out
5. How to make a tie
As I look around these days more and more men, are becoming submissive. They don't know how to do the essentials required for survival and are paying someone to do it for them. Bull crap I say! I don't care if your an 18 yr old teenage millionaire, you won't get laid if your date finds out you're wearing a clip-on. I think I will start a series of various topics of which I believe Men - especially in their 20's and 30's (since these are the crucial years that determine if you'll be cool or not in life), should know how to do.
Today, we begin with planning a guys night out. All guys, should know how to kick it with the boys. Most people have the following kind of guy friends:
1. The Player - all he cares about is ass
2. The Cryer - always has a sob story
3. The Overachiever - loves his job more than sex
4. The Underachiever - loves to "talk" about work, but does not actually do any
5. The Drama King - Can't pump gas without getting into a fight
6. The Rockstar - Seems to always have everything that everyone else wants
When planning guys night, you must cater to all of these personalities. Usually a bar/grill type restaurant along with a night-spot is a solid plan for a guys night. When planning a guys night, it is essential to pick a place that has lots of eye candy and scenery (by this I mean hot women). Although the Chicken Fingers or the German Brews might be tasty, they'll taste like crap if you don't have someone to ogle while enjoying them. Depending on what part of the world you are in, you can usually find some fun laid-back restaurants that have a good bar, and then hit up a club afterwards.
There are certain ground rules that MUST be followed:
1. The kids gotta be put to sleep - By this I mean all phone calls with the girlfriends/wives/children/mistresses have to be done and accounted for before the festivities begin. You are not allowed to miss a shot-taking opportunity because your girl wants to tell you she misses you. If you do, you buy the next round, Bitch.
2. Everyone should pitch in - No one person should end up taking the financial hit. At the same time don't bust out your pocket calculator every time a bill comes around. As a guy you should be alright with numbers, and if your not, then the waiter/waitress should get the benefit. Unless one of your friends is a filthy rich prick, by the end of the night everyone should have done a similar amount of damage to their wallets. It is okay however, for the rich prick to insist on buying bottle service and letting him take the hit, however in return you must be nice to him for the rest of the night, and even offer him a drink that he paid for once in a while.
3. You are NOT allowed to call anyone out - This is a big one. When your having a guys night, it is perfectly fine for your friend to tell someone he's a Formula 1 race car driver. If he tells a girl he is trying to impress that your the dude that manages him, you MUST act accordingly. You are not allowed to call him out. As a friend, it is your duty to ensure your buddy is in the best possible position to get this woman's panties to drop. At the same time your buddy must be there for you.
4. You are NOT allowed to bring baggage - By this, I mean everyone is there to have a good time. This is not the time to share the news that your getting a divorce, you miss your girlfriend you just broke up with, or worst you've decided your gonna go thru with your sex-change operation because you feel "trapped". Save it for another night. Tonight is the night to get your drink on, act silly, embarrass yourself a little bit, and maybe even get laid. The penalty for bringing on this kind of distress, is that you automatically become designated driver, and all night long your friends are allowed to tell any hot girl your talking to that you have gonorrhea.
5. Sneak Attack -At any guys night you must be prepared for the "sneak attack". What is the sneak attack? The sneak attack happens when you and your boys are at a place, and your girlfriend, or the significant other of any of your boys also "happens" to be there, or she decided to come out and meet you there. You must always be prepared for such occurrences. Women, usually don't like to see guys having so much fun by themselves, and will interject some vaginism on the night. As you and your boys are taking a shot she may come and give you a "cute" kiss on the cheek, or she may steal you away from your boys to furiously make out with you and / or dance with you. If this happens your boys have the right to make fun of you. In unison they are all allowed to yell out "awwwwwe", then point their fingers and laugh. They are also allowed to be sarcastic for the rest of the night. They can say things like "Bro, you look nice in a dress sometimes" and all you can do is take it like a man. Additionally, if required, your girl/significant other must also be prepared to talk up one of your buddies and help him get laid. For dropping the sneak attack, she must use her feminine powers of persuasion to get girls to put out for your boys.
Now, you have to remember that not everything always goes according to plan. If shit hits the fan, as a guy there is always a "Wild Card" that you can use. That "wild card" is the strip club. It is acceptable to resort to strip club for any guys night. A strip club is a wild card because it is the one place on planet Earth where all of your boys will be satisfied. For $20 a woman will listen to you talk about your project at work, while riding you like its the Kentucky Derby. For $40, she might even let you grab a boob while you explain to her the new wireless protocol your going to be implementing at work. A strip club for guys night should be used like you would use a car for sex. When there is no other option, and when it is absolutely necessary.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Just Stop
I'm finding more and more that people feel the need to impress others. I don't know why, and I can' t explain it, but for some reason, people just feel the need to show that they "know someone" or "have been somewhere" that's really cool. The first time or two you hear it at a party or something, you let it pass, but after a while it just gets down right annoying. My advice to these people is to "Just Stop!"
First of all, what you think is really "crazy and cool" is probably not so crazy and cool to someone else. For example, a guy was telling me how he and his friends are so "wild", and that when he went to Vegas, they partied til like 4 AM. That's nice and all, but it doesn't mean much to someone like me, who has done that in New York, and made it to a 7 AM conference call afterwards. The worst has to be the people who tell you a story and then when the next person comes, the story just gets bigger and bigger. I was at a house party and someone was telling me "yeah bro, I had a bottle at this one club, and we were chilling with these girls who worked at Scores, and then we headed back to my place, for some you know what" he smirked. Then my buddy comes by, and the story becomes "yeah bro, we were at Bungalow 8, and I had a bottle of Cristal, and we were hanging out with Playmates, then we headed back to my place for you know what". Let me tell you something buddy....I DO know what. I know that there was no club, no bottles, no babes, and you headed back to your place for some late night Cinemax!
Its in times like these, when my cousin, has the best line. When this happens my cousin simply tells someone, "Yo, stop trying to impress me. I'm not impressed, so you can stop now." Simple, yet effective. With this new found line, I've begun my conquest to set people straight by putting one boastful person in place at a time. Sometimes the result has been a laugh, and at others its been a middle finger. However, the best is the pure look of shock on someone's face, when you actually call them out. If you want to see something funny, the next time someone starts telling you a story, utter these words "Yo, stop trying to impress me. It ain't workin", and the results will magnanimous.
First of all, what you think is really "crazy and cool" is probably not so crazy and cool to someone else. For example, a guy was telling me how he and his friends are so "wild", and that when he went to Vegas, they partied til like 4 AM. That's nice and all, but it doesn't mean much to someone like me, who has done that in New York, and made it to a 7 AM conference call afterwards. The worst has to be the people who tell you a story and then when the next person comes, the story just gets bigger and bigger. I was at a house party and someone was telling me "yeah bro, I had a bottle at this one club, and we were chilling with these girls who worked at Scores, and then we headed back to my place, for some you know what" he smirked. Then my buddy comes by, and the story becomes "yeah bro, we were at Bungalow 8, and I had a bottle of Cristal, and we were hanging out with Playmates, then we headed back to my place for you know what". Let me tell you something buddy....I DO know what. I know that there was no club, no bottles, no babes, and you headed back to your place for some late night Cinemax!
Its in times like these, when my cousin, has the best line. When this happens my cousin simply tells someone, "Yo, stop trying to impress me. I'm not impressed, so you can stop now." Simple, yet effective. With this new found line, I've begun my conquest to set people straight by putting one boastful person in place at a time. Sometimes the result has been a laugh, and at others its been a middle finger. However, the best is the pure look of shock on someone's face, when you actually call them out. If you want to see something funny, the next time someone starts telling you a story, utter these words "Yo, stop trying to impress me. It ain't workin", and the results will magnanimous.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Desi Parties
Aaaah yes, the Desi Party. Where you wait in line, till your hands go numb, and hope to grind on a drunk Indian girl before her friends spot you and pull you away. I feel in today's day and age the desi party is almost a right of passage of Indian College Students in America. This right of passage is present everywhere, however, in the NY/NJ area it is very prevalent. For those of you who may not know, "Desi" is a slang term for Indian, and a "Desi" party is one that is predominantly Indian. The DJ is Indian, the attendees are Indian, however the bouncer is always Black (usually a big dude).
I remember my first Desi Party like it was yesterday. I was too cheap to pay for the coat check so I waited in line without a coat on a January night in New York. The bouncer kept yelling at people to form a line, and being that everyone was Indian, nobody could understand this concept. There was always 1 or 2 Indian guys with cell phones or walkie talkies going in and out of the place like they were important and there were always hords of idiots trying to tell them that they are important and worthy of entry. "Bro, I'm Samir's girlfriend's brother. he didn't tell you I was coming?" Retarded phrases such as these fill the air, and undoubtedly result in the Indian with the walkie talkie telling the Bouncer "I don't know him. Unless he's got like 6 girls with him, he doesn't get in". Of course, by doing this he was only teasing the poor bastard.
My favorite part of Desi Parties is all the planning involved. First you lookup the party (http://www.desiparty.com/), then you find out who is going. As a guy, the critical thing was to always try to roll with girls, so you didn't look like a loser. You finally decide on a place to pre-game and off you go. The doors open at 10 PM but because your Desi - just to be safe you show up at 9, and the line is already half way down the block. You wait, and wait, and finally the group in front of you gets in. Just when you begin to give up hope you hear those magical words "Let me see your ID please". With shivering hands you give the bouncer your id, and get your ticket. At this point you've never been so glad to pay $20 to walk into a place. Finally, you step foot inside the club and out of the cold, and its a huge family re-union.
Off to the bar you go! Some SoCo and Lime shots are downed (manly enough, and weak enough for the Indian tolerance). The music is always pretty good, and you like a gazelle in the wild you look for your prey. An Indian girl who happen to be dancing by herself. You soon realize this is not the case, and they only travel in packs. So then you chug your drink, and go behind an unsuspecting lady with your liquid confidence. Slowly you approach her. She's not looking and neither are her friends. You make your move! You rush behind her before any other guy can and start violently banging your crotch against her behind in hopes of serenading her. She turns around and gives you a sign that you may continue. Your in! You'v e captured your prey. Your feeling victorious. Just before you let out the Johnny Drama Victory yell, you've been spotted by her friend. She does the unthinkable. She grabs the girl away from you and leaves you by yourself.
In conclusion, this cycle is repeated many times. Each time your dissed the number of shots taken increases. Then in order to hold your head up high the Dj plays Bhangra and you find your boys and dance as if that was what you went for in the first place.
I remember my first Desi Party like it was yesterday. I was too cheap to pay for the coat check so I waited in line without a coat on a January night in New York. The bouncer kept yelling at people to form a line, and being that everyone was Indian, nobody could understand this concept. There was always 1 or 2 Indian guys with cell phones or walkie talkies going in and out of the place like they were important and there were always hords of idiots trying to tell them that they are important and worthy of entry. "Bro, I'm Samir's girlfriend's brother. he didn't tell you I was coming?" Retarded phrases such as these fill the air, and undoubtedly result in the Indian with the walkie talkie telling the Bouncer "I don't know him. Unless he's got like 6 girls with him, he doesn't get in". Of course, by doing this he was only teasing the poor bastard.
My favorite part of Desi Parties is all the planning involved. First you lookup the party (http://www.desiparty.com/), then you find out who is going. As a guy, the critical thing was to always try to roll with girls, so you didn't look like a loser. You finally decide on a place to pre-game and off you go. The doors open at 10 PM but because your Desi - just to be safe you show up at 9, and the line is already half way down the block. You wait, and wait, and finally the group in front of you gets in. Just when you begin to give up hope you hear those magical words "Let me see your ID please". With shivering hands you give the bouncer your id, and get your ticket. At this point you've never been so glad to pay $20 to walk into a place. Finally, you step foot inside the club and out of the cold, and its a huge family re-union.
Off to the bar you go! Some SoCo and Lime shots are downed (manly enough, and weak enough for the Indian tolerance). The music is always pretty good, and you like a gazelle in the wild you look for your prey. An Indian girl who happen to be dancing by herself. You soon realize this is not the case, and they only travel in packs. So then you chug your drink, and go behind an unsuspecting lady with your liquid confidence. Slowly you approach her. She's not looking and neither are her friends. You make your move! You rush behind her before any other guy can and start violently banging your crotch against her behind in hopes of serenading her. She turns around and gives you a sign that you may continue. Your in! You'v e captured your prey. Your feeling victorious. Just before you let out the Johnny Drama Victory yell, you've been spotted by her friend. She does the unthinkable. She grabs the girl away from you and leaves you by yourself.
In conclusion, this cycle is repeated many times. Each time your dissed the number of shots taken increases. Then in order to hold your head up high the Dj plays Bhangra and you find your boys and dance as if that was what you went for in the first place.
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