Hello people, I hope you're all doing well. I apologize for not posting in a while, I've been quite busy. Anyhow, I guess after all this time, the one thing I learned, is that writing is kind of like working out. No matter how long its been since the last time you did it, its always a good idea to start up again and get back into it. In that spirit, I shall try my best to keep going forward.
In any case, I was recently enjoying a lazy Sunday, and I came across this article in the Chicago Tribune about how Facebook could be destroying relationships. Are you freakin kidding me! According to the article, the new study shows that Facebook causes people to get jealous, and then go out on Facebook, and find evidence there to support their own jealous claims / thoughts. I have news for everybody. Facebook is NOT destroying relationships. PEOPLE are destroying relationships!
I love how everytime we can't control ourselves, we try to find something else to blame. The problem is not facebook, the problem is people, and their stupid jeaousies. Facebook is only a medium. Blaming Facebook for destroying relationships, is like blaming the doctor who brought you into this world, because you're homeless. He had nothing to do with it! He just brought you into the world, the fact that you suck at life, is not his fault. Just like the fact that you can't trust your partner, is not Facebook's fault. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn't be "Superpoking" their co-worker by giving them a digital quickie. I don't know, I just find it kind of ironic, that a group of people were paid to conduct a "study" to measure this kind of stuff. I've never been approached for this kind of study, where do they find their subjects?
Now don't get me wrong, the study is not entirely useless. There is some truth to this. If you have a lot of time on your hands, and you can check out people's Facebook status's all day long, than there is a good chance that you may find something you don't like. However, that's not the point. The point is that people are actually trying to blame Facebook for their own stupidities. For example, the relationship options on Facebook are kind of ridiculous. There is an option to say that you are "married" to someone, or even say you "hooked up" with someone. I wonder what's stopping Facebook from just putting up an option to say "Did the dirty in a highway bathroom with" as an option. I'm sure there are people in Congress that can relate. Perhaps, even an option for the South Carolina Governor could be "Flew to Argentina and had a love triangle with" as an option.
I don't know, maybe its me. However, I think at the end of the day, people need to say what they mean, and mean what they say. Its harder than you think. There isn't a Facebook option for it.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Warming Up For The Next Lover
We all travel through life falling in and out of love. For some, it can be a vicious cycle that repeats often, and others only go through it once. Some are even lucky enough to find their true love the first time they meet, and don't even know what it means to fall "out". Its a punishing, and beautiful thing which helps us understand the world, and more importantly ourselves. Some try to put a number on how many times it may happen, and call it destiny or fate, and others well they just understand that what's gotta happen, is gonna happen.
However, there is something that is quite ironic about this entire process. Its not something we like to talk about often, and of course I would like to take this opportunity to do just that. I recently saw a cartoon that reminded me of this strange paradox. The truth is very simply, that each time we go into a relationship we grow more as a person. We make mistakes, and we learn from those mistakes. The kicker, is that the next person who comes along is the one who benefits. So for example, if you were impatient when your girlfriend was getting ready, and always got mad or through a fit, your current girlfriend has to put up with it. However, after that relationship is over, the next girl who comes along will be fortunate enough to have a guy whose not so impatient and gives her the time she needs to get ready.
Does nobody else but me find this nuts! Think about it. You will always be a better person in your next relationship! I find this hilarious and humbling at the same time. Its also the reason why when a guy starts dating a girl for the first time and she does something amazing in bed and drives him wild, he thoroughly enjoys it. Then he begins to wonder.....how did she learn how to do that? Who was the bastard before you who taught her that? Which usually ends to a pointless argument. Of course, as "fate" would have it, this is something the next girl he dates won't have to deal with.
So go on. Do what you gotta do. Date all types of people. Pretty ones, crazy ones, and of course my favorite the horny ones. Learn what you gotta learn. At some point, you might be lucky to find a person who has learned just as much as you, and knows just as much as you, and has been through just as much as you. If you ever find that person at the right time, I guess you might then know what love is.
However, there is something that is quite ironic about this entire process. Its not something we like to talk about often, and of course I would like to take this opportunity to do just that. I recently saw a cartoon that reminded me of this strange paradox. The truth is very simply, that each time we go into a relationship we grow more as a person. We make mistakes, and we learn from those mistakes. The kicker, is that the next person who comes along is the one who benefits. So for example, if you were impatient when your girlfriend was getting ready, and always got mad or through a fit, your current girlfriend has to put up with it. However, after that relationship is over, the next girl who comes along will be fortunate enough to have a guy whose not so impatient and gives her the time she needs to get ready.
Does nobody else but me find this nuts! Think about it. You will always be a better person in your next relationship! I find this hilarious and humbling at the same time. Its also the reason why when a guy starts dating a girl for the first time and she does something amazing in bed and drives him wild, he thoroughly enjoys it. Then he begins to wonder.....how did she learn how to do that? Who was the bastard before you who taught her that? Which usually ends to a pointless argument. Of course, as "fate" would have it, this is something the next girl he dates won't have to deal with.
So go on. Do what you gotta do. Date all types of people. Pretty ones, crazy ones, and of course my favorite the horny ones. Learn what you gotta learn. At some point, you might be lucky to find a person who has learned just as much as you, and knows just as much as you, and has been through just as much as you. If you ever find that person at the right time, I guess you might then know what love is.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Jealousy Factor
From what I've observed, it seems that in all relationships (relationships being a sexual one between a man & a woman), there exists a certain jealousy factor. I can't explain why, but it just seems that at any given moment in time, a certain amount of jealousy emanates from one of the parties, and in retaliation that party tries to overcompensate. Its very difficult to explain, but I think I'm onto something here. I find that this is a completely universal phenomenon, and has nothing to do with your background. If your a guy / girl and your in a relationship, I urge you to be mindful of the Jealousy Factor.
I find that we all go thru life trying out various different types of people. I call this process dating. To me, dating is like a wine tasting. You learn a lot about different wines, and at the same time you also learn what suits your particular palate. Over time, and experience, you are able to identify the type of wine that you like the most. Now, for every person, this process is different, and can often lead to a variety of encounters. However, for some reason, when we get into relationships, we feel the need to share the stories of our journey with our partner. Without question, this ALWAYS happens. For women, it might be a reason to hear the guy explain how everything was wrong until she was found, and for men, well it might be a telling sign of whether or not she will swallow. In any case, we all have our reasons to share.
In my observation, I find, that at some point in time one of the parties just can't handle it. At some point in time, a girl maybe telling her boyfriend "Oh yeah, in my last relationship we used all types of gadgets and toys in bed....", and the boyfriend will just lose it. Its pretty funny when this happens, because the boyfriend is clearly annoyed, yet he tries to play it off like nothing is happening. So what does he do? He will cut her off by saying something dumb, and completely untrue. "Baby, please. You don't even wanna know what I've done. I've been with a girl who used toys too okay!" At this point, the relationship will usually take a turn for the worst. But my favorite, is when the guy and girl are talking about all the things they've done in bed with other people. They will often ask questions like "have you tried this, or done that?". This usually goes on until, one of the parties yells "Mercy!!!" Well, not exactly. But usually either the guy / girl usually hears something that they are truly disgusted with and just blames the other person for being a weirdo or a freak and storms out.
I don't know why people do this, but it always happens. I guess, curiosity is a disease no one is immune to. As a result, we usually find ourselves in conversations we did not want to be in, and then to overcompensate we make up some ridiculous stories. In my observation, those who tend to keep the most quiet when hearing some "wild" story of their partner, are usually the wilder ones in the relationship. I find it absolutely hilarious, when one person says about their partner "Oh, I know him / her, they would never do anything like that", only to walk in on them tied to a bed with a leather mask and a whip waiting on the end table.
I guess all I'm trying to say, is that we all have our own journeys in life, and there is nothing wrong with any of them. Don't try to compare yours to someone else's and try to accept people for the whores that they were, and the loyal lovers they will be.
I find that we all go thru life trying out various different types of people. I call this process dating. To me, dating is like a wine tasting. You learn a lot about different wines, and at the same time you also learn what suits your particular palate. Over time, and experience, you are able to identify the type of wine that you like the most. Now, for every person, this process is different, and can often lead to a variety of encounters. However, for some reason, when we get into relationships, we feel the need to share the stories of our journey with our partner. Without question, this ALWAYS happens. For women, it might be a reason to hear the guy explain how everything was wrong until she was found, and for men, well it might be a telling sign of whether or not she will swallow. In any case, we all have our reasons to share.
In my observation, I find, that at some point in time one of the parties just can't handle it. At some point in time, a girl maybe telling her boyfriend "Oh yeah, in my last relationship we used all types of gadgets and toys in bed....", and the boyfriend will just lose it. Its pretty funny when this happens, because the boyfriend is clearly annoyed, yet he tries to play it off like nothing is happening. So what does he do? He will cut her off by saying something dumb, and completely untrue. "Baby, please. You don't even wanna know what I've done. I've been with a girl who used toys too okay!" At this point, the relationship will usually take a turn for the worst. But my favorite, is when the guy and girl are talking about all the things they've done in bed with other people. They will often ask questions like "have you tried this, or done that?". This usually goes on until, one of the parties yells "Mercy!!!" Well, not exactly. But usually either the guy / girl usually hears something that they are truly disgusted with and just blames the other person for being a weirdo or a freak and storms out.
I don't know why people do this, but it always happens. I guess, curiosity is a disease no one is immune to. As a result, we usually find ourselves in conversations we did not want to be in, and then to overcompensate we make up some ridiculous stories. In my observation, those who tend to keep the most quiet when hearing some "wild" story of their partner, are usually the wilder ones in the relationship. I find it absolutely hilarious, when one person says about their partner "Oh, I know him / her, they would never do anything like that", only to walk in on them tied to a bed with a leather mask and a whip waiting on the end table.
I guess all I'm trying to say, is that we all have our own journeys in life, and there is nothing wrong with any of them. Don't try to compare yours to someone else's and try to accept people for the whores that they were, and the loyal lovers they will be.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Women Parasites
Not too long ago, I was having a stressful day at work, and a good friend who I'll call AJ, agreed to help me kill some brain cells by pounding some booze. The effect was magical. Before I stepped into the establishment, my head felt heavy, and my neck, and shoulders felt like I had the world's problems on them. A few brews in, I was light on my feet, and felt loose enough to take on the world. As men often do when releasing stress, me and my buddy got to talkin.
"So how's things with your girl?" I asked. "Could be better" he said. Now you should know one thing about AJ. He is one of the most analytical people I've ever met. I mean everything to this guy is an analysis. A drink of water will only occur, if the investment of time and effort put into getting it, is worth it. He thinks about everything in terms of timing, effort put in, and what is gained. Everything accept one thing that is - his girlfriend. He said something quite interesting to me when he uttered the words "If I was thinking about this rationally, I'd have let her go by now. But at some point you've got to throw logic and rationality out the window and use your emotions I guess. If you don't , your not human". For him to say this, for me was the ultimate testament that people are emotional creatures more than anything.
Getting deeper into the conversation he said something that I'll never forget. "There's something to be said about the parasitic nature of women" were the words he spoke that stuck to my mind. For some reason, this statement sparked a curiosity in my mind, and I did a little homework. According to wikipedia "Parasitism is a type of symbiotic relationship between organisms of different species[citation needed] in which one, the parasite, benefits from a prolonged, close association with the other, the host, which is harmed. In general, parasites are much smaller than their hosts, show a high degree of specialization for their mode of life and reproduce more quickly and in greater numbers than their hosts". "The harm and benefit in parasitic interactions concern the biological fitness of the organisms involved. Parasites reduce host fitness in many ways, ranging from general or specialized pathology (such as castration), impairment of secondary sex characteristics, to the modification of host behaviour. Parasites increase their fitness by exploiting hosts for food, habitat and dispersal."
Upon reading this definition, I felt a sense of familiarity come over me. Kind of like those situations you see sometimes and think "Oh yeah, I know exactly what that feels like". He said as we carried on talking, that he didn't mind this, but its just that once in a while, when he needed something he just assumed she'd be there, and when it doesn't happen you kind of feel like sh*t. All of this was a bit much to take in at once. The two voices in my head (Stella Artois and Sam Adams) were screaming how much my friend was right! However, I had to think about this. Are women really parasites to men? Do they get more out of a relationship than men do?
Well, I thought I'd think this out point-by-point and see if women fit this definition:
1 - Parasites are much smaller than their host
Yes, but not always, since some dudes like more "cushion for the pushin"
2 - Show a high degree of specialization for their mode of life
Most women I know are pretty much all over the place all the freakin time. If I need a quick decision, I would probably avoid asking a woman, however if I needed a smart decision, that's probably the way to go, since we all know what "head" men use 98% of the time. This theory doesn't really fit.
3 - Reproduce more quickly and in greater numbers than their host
This one is just self-explanatory
4 - Parasites reduce host fitness
This one can go either way. Women either piss men off so much, that they go to the gym to blow off steam, or they drive them to alcohol/drug abuse. Either way you develop a tolerance for pain.
5 - Modification of host behaviour
I believe there is no question regarding this trait. A man, any man, always behaves differently when he's in a relationship, than when he's not. I have a buddy who when he was single got to 3rd base with a girl in a club one night, then asked everyone to smell his finger. This same buddy of mine, is now telling me he's ready for kids.
In conclusion, although this is an interesting comparison if I concluded that women were parasites, I probably would never get laid. But besides that, I think women are a necessary part of being a man. They get us to see things differently, and sometimes its good, and sometimes it ain't.
"So how's things with your girl?" I asked. "Could be better" he said. Now you should know one thing about AJ. He is one of the most analytical people I've ever met. I mean everything to this guy is an analysis. A drink of water will only occur, if the investment of time and effort put into getting it, is worth it. He thinks about everything in terms of timing, effort put in, and what is gained. Everything accept one thing that is - his girlfriend. He said something quite interesting to me when he uttered the words "If I was thinking about this rationally, I'd have let her go by now. But at some point you've got to throw logic and rationality out the window and use your emotions I guess. If you don't , your not human". For him to say this, for me was the ultimate testament that people are emotional creatures more than anything.
Getting deeper into the conversation he said something that I'll never forget. "There's something to be said about the parasitic nature of women" were the words he spoke that stuck to my mind. For some reason, this statement sparked a curiosity in my mind, and I did a little homework. According to wikipedia "Parasitism is a type of symbiotic relationship between organisms of different species[citation needed] in which one, the parasite, benefits from a prolonged, close association with the other, the host, which is harmed. In general, parasites are much smaller than their hosts, show a high degree of specialization for their mode of life and reproduce more quickly and in greater numbers than their hosts". "The harm and benefit in parasitic interactions concern the biological fitness of the organisms involved. Parasites reduce host fitness in many ways, ranging from general or specialized pathology (such as castration), impairment of secondary sex characteristics, to the modification of host behaviour. Parasites increase their fitness by exploiting hosts for food, habitat and dispersal."
Upon reading this definition, I felt a sense of familiarity come over me. Kind of like those situations you see sometimes and think "Oh yeah, I know exactly what that feels like". He said as we carried on talking, that he didn't mind this, but its just that once in a while, when he needed something he just assumed she'd be there, and when it doesn't happen you kind of feel like sh*t. All of this was a bit much to take in at once. The two voices in my head (Stella Artois and Sam Adams) were screaming how much my friend was right! However, I had to think about this. Are women really parasites to men? Do they get more out of a relationship than men do?
Well, I thought I'd think this out point-by-point and see if women fit this definition:
1 - Parasites are much smaller than their host
Yes, but not always, since some dudes like more "cushion for the pushin"
2 - Show a high degree of specialization for their mode of life
Most women I know are pretty much all over the place all the freakin time. If I need a quick decision, I would probably avoid asking a woman, however if I needed a smart decision, that's probably the way to go, since we all know what "head" men use 98% of the time. This theory doesn't really fit.
3 - Reproduce more quickly and in greater numbers than their host
This one is just self-explanatory
4 - Parasites reduce host fitness
This one can go either way. Women either piss men off so much, that they go to the gym to blow off steam, or they drive them to alcohol/drug abuse. Either way you develop a tolerance for pain.
5 - Modification of host behaviour
I believe there is no question regarding this trait. A man, any man, always behaves differently when he's in a relationship, than when he's not. I have a buddy who when he was single got to 3rd base with a girl in a club one night, then asked everyone to smell his finger. This same buddy of mine, is now telling me he's ready for kids.
In conclusion, although this is an interesting comparison if I concluded that women were parasites, I probably would never get laid. But besides that, I think women are a necessary part of being a man. They get us to see things differently, and sometimes its good, and sometimes it ain't.
Friday, September 19, 2008
How to Keep a Man Happy
I recently came across this article on Wikihow about how to keep your (sober ) man happy (between the ages of 21 - 30). I was thoroughly annoyed by this article, just like I'm annoyed with most articles written on this topic. Its obviously written by a woman. I find it hilarious that so many articles about keeping your man happy are written by women. Its like a marriage counselor giving marriage advice, whose never been married themselves. I mean seriously people, can we get a man to write these articles?! If I wanted to know how to bake a cake, I wouldn't ask my mechanic - you know what I'm saying?
In any case, this person goes onto explain that among other things you shouldn't "convey yourself to your man". God forbid! Then this person goes onto explain "helps if you are the same way with your man, telling him the honest-to-goodness truth about what he says and does as it happens". Well I have a NEWSFLASH: THE PROBLEM WITH MOST PEOPLE IS THEY DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY OR SAY WHAT THEY MEAN! I'm willing to bet that 90% of all relationship fights occur, because both the man AND the woman don't say the truth about how they feel. Even if its a good thing, they feel the need to hold back. Why? I don't know. I guess we're afraid of showing who we really are.
Continuing on to the wonderful advice, this person goes onto explain "Don't assume that doing nice things for your man, even things that are traditionally viewed as subservient, will make him view you as any less independent". Yes, that is exactly how to keep us men happy. By NOT BEING NICE TO US! You know, us guys, we loooooove to bicker and bitch it out with the ladies, because we have nothing better to do. Let me explain something here. Bickering to women is like jerking off to men. Sometimes we do it, just because there's nothing else going on! Its a win-win since it provides pleasure, and kills time all at once.
I just find it sad, that we live in this day and age where websites ask for personality profiles, and magazines go around giving suggestions of hundreds of things that can be done to keep men and/or women happy. When the truth of the matter is that we are simple creatures with simple needs. We don't have to give into all the hype. I believe Dave Chapelle said it best when he said "If you wanna keep a man happy, its simple. Suck his dick, play with his balls, and make him a sandwhich".
In any case, this person goes onto explain that among other things you shouldn't "convey yourself to your man". God forbid! Then this person goes onto explain "helps if you are the same way with your man, telling him the honest-to-goodness truth about what he says and does as it happens". Well I have a NEWSFLASH: THE PROBLEM WITH MOST PEOPLE IS THEY DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY OR SAY WHAT THEY MEAN! I'm willing to bet that 90% of all relationship fights occur, because both the man AND the woman don't say the truth about how they feel. Even if its a good thing, they feel the need to hold back. Why? I don't know. I guess we're afraid of showing who we really are.
Continuing on to the wonderful advice, this person goes onto explain "Don't assume that doing nice things for your man, even things that are traditionally viewed as subservient, will make him view you as any less independent". Yes, that is exactly how to keep us men happy. By NOT BEING NICE TO US! You know, us guys, we loooooove to bicker and bitch it out with the ladies, because we have nothing better to do. Let me explain something here. Bickering to women is like jerking off to men. Sometimes we do it, just because there's nothing else going on! Its a win-win since it provides pleasure, and kills time all at once.
I just find it sad, that we live in this day and age where websites ask for personality profiles, and magazines go around giving suggestions of hundreds of things that can be done to keep men and/or women happy. When the truth of the matter is that we are simple creatures with simple needs. We don't have to give into all the hype. I believe Dave Chapelle said it best when he said "If you wanna keep a man happy, its simple. Suck his dick, play with his balls, and make him a sandwhich".
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
She's Aggressive
Not too long ago, me and 2 of my co-workers had gone out for lunch. One of my co-workers is a young woman in her 30's who has been married for a few years (let's call her Amy), and my other co-worker is a guy that's a year younger than me (let's call him Adam) who is in a long distance relationship, where he lives in America and his girlfriend is on the other side of the world. We were talking about relationships, and my latest blunder at the time.
While we were eating, Amy says to me "you know my husband's best friend is half Irish and half Indian, and he has a beautiful sister". Immediately my appetite faded, and I was all ears. "She has great skin, and light eyes". To which I respond, "well you know, I happen to be Irish on the inside, and probably have the liver of an Irishman. I think your friend's sister is in luck". We all got a good laugh out of that, and Amy continued to describe this girl to me. Meanwhile my co-worker Adam had lost his appetite and as we were sitting outside eating our salads our imaginations ran wild about the possible hotness that is this girl. After finishing describing her and her brother, and how they are such good friends with the family my friend Amy says to me "but there's one thing." Immediately, I'm thinking there always is. I figured she was gonna tell me the girl is recently married, or has joined the peace corps and gone to Africa. However, Amy says to me "she's aggressive". Before Amy could even finish saying those two words a dirty smile had crept across my face. I looked over at Adam, and the same dirty smile had made its way on his face as well.
In that funny little moment, I soon realized how truly different men and women are. You see, when Amy told me her friend was "aggressive" after all the beatiful description of her physique me and Adam were probably picturing Aishwarya Rai with the libido of Jenna Jameson, and we couldn't have been more excited. Meanwhile, Amy was saying things like "she's very controlling" which I translated as "Okay, maybe she likes to be on top? - I can live with that". However, she went on to describe how her friend can get a bit controlling at times. To this day, I have not met this person. However, I'm willing to bet my left nut that she's pretty hot and I'm sure she is controlling. I haven't met a hot girl who isn't. If you have met a hot girl that's not controlling, well you're in luck because she doesn't know that she's hot, and as soon as she does, she will become controlling.
All in all, I've realized that as much as we may try, as a guy whenever you hear about women you only hear things in relation to sex. Someone can tell you that they have a friend who has long beautiful hair, works out a lot, and is really book-smart, and we will imagine a hot librarian who takes the scrunchy out of her hair and lets it all fall back, and soon thereafter completely fulfills your desires. I don't know if we will ever change, but as they say "the day I don't think about it, is the day I'd die".
While we were eating, Amy says to me "you know my husband's best friend is half Irish and half Indian, and he has a beautiful sister". Immediately my appetite faded, and I was all ears. "She has great skin, and light eyes". To which I respond, "well you know, I happen to be Irish on the inside, and probably have the liver of an Irishman. I think your friend's sister is in luck". We all got a good laugh out of that, and Amy continued to describe this girl to me. Meanwhile my co-worker Adam had lost his appetite and as we were sitting outside eating our salads our imaginations ran wild about the possible hotness that is this girl. After finishing describing her and her brother, and how they are such good friends with the family my friend Amy says to me "but there's one thing." Immediately, I'm thinking there always is. I figured she was gonna tell me the girl is recently married, or has joined the peace corps and gone to Africa. However, Amy says to me "she's aggressive". Before Amy could even finish saying those two words a dirty smile had crept across my face. I looked over at Adam, and the same dirty smile had made its way on his face as well.
In that funny little moment, I soon realized how truly different men and women are. You see, when Amy told me her friend was "aggressive" after all the beatiful description of her physique me and Adam were probably picturing Aishwarya Rai with the libido of Jenna Jameson, and we couldn't have been more excited. Meanwhile, Amy was saying things like "she's very controlling" which I translated as "Okay, maybe she likes to be on top? - I can live with that". However, she went on to describe how her friend can get a bit controlling at times. To this day, I have not met this person. However, I'm willing to bet my left nut that she's pretty hot and I'm sure she is controlling. I haven't met a hot girl who isn't. If you have met a hot girl that's not controlling, well you're in luck because she doesn't know that she's hot, and as soon as she does, she will become controlling.
All in all, I've realized that as much as we may try, as a guy whenever you hear about women you only hear things in relation to sex. Someone can tell you that they have a friend who has long beautiful hair, works out a lot, and is really book-smart, and we will imagine a hot librarian who takes the scrunchy out of her hair and lets it all fall back, and soon thereafter completely fulfills your desires. I don't know if we will ever change, but as they say "the day I don't think about it, is the day I'd die".
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Inter-cultural Relationships
So I recently came across this website where singles can go and meet other singles (no, I wasn't on the prowl - I swear). In this particular ad an Indian guy is looking to meet a white girl. Check it out:
I think Inter-cultural relationships is probably a better term for this than interracial (because Indians are actually considered caucasians), but also because sometimes if your Indian, dating a person from another part of the country can be just as difficult.
So in any case, I'd like to take a moment and help this poor bastard out. First of all he starts his ad by saying he's "attractive". That to me raises red flags right there. If I'm correct, shouldn't the other person decide if your attractive? Then he goes on to claim he is a "British Born Indian guy" which to me sounds like he's saying "Hey, I'm so white on the inside you won't notice I'm brown on the outside". However, he gets caught in his lie when he uses the phrase "would love to go out with a white girl as it is my preference". This is where the gig is up buddy! If you were really a British born Indian guy you'd say something like "because it is my preference", the fact that you said "as it is my preference" proves to me just how much of a Mumbai-born recently immigrated to Britain guy you really are! I work with plenty of Indians and they all have one thing in common - they don't ever use the word "because" they simply use "as" instead. I think I just found a Mumbain-born Indian guy who has migrated to Britain, and is hoping to get his freak on with the "mystical" white girls which he's only seen on youtube clips and heard stories of through migrated friends. What's worst is he finishes off his strong candidacy by asking "Do white women find Indian guys attractive?" What are you thinking?!? Is that even a question? Of course they do buddy, but your not one of em apparently.
All I'm saying is that if you want to attract a white girl or a black girl, or any other non-Indian girl, I'd start by making a strong bold statement. Perhaps something like "I'm the Indian son of the man who invented the Kama Sutra, and I'm starting a new practice here in London. I"m looking to share my knowledge with attractive and interested students who are (non-Indian / cultural preference) females between the ages of 21 - 30, who are comfortable with their bodies and spirituality. Flexibility and an un-inhibited personality is preferred". I mean you figure with something like this you might at least get a curiosity bang.
The point I'm trying to make here, is that inter-cultural relationships are not easy, but they can also be fun since in today's information age, we are learning about other people at a much faster pace. But the one thing that remains universally true, is that if a guy wants to get a girl, he's gotta be confident and comfortable with who he is, before he can get to know her no matter where she's from, or what color her skin is.
I think Inter-cultural relationships is probably a better term for this than interracial (because Indians are actually considered caucasians), but also because sometimes if your Indian, dating a person from another part of the country can be just as difficult.
So in any case, I'd like to take a moment and help this poor bastard out. First of all he starts his ad by saying he's "attractive". That to me raises red flags right there. If I'm correct, shouldn't the other person decide if your attractive? Then he goes on to claim he is a "British Born Indian guy" which to me sounds like he's saying "Hey, I'm so white on the inside you won't notice I'm brown on the outside". However, he gets caught in his lie when he uses the phrase "would love to go out with a white girl as it is my preference". This is where the gig is up buddy! If you were really a British born Indian guy you'd say something like "because it is my preference", the fact that you said "as it is my preference" proves to me just how much of a Mumbai-born recently immigrated to Britain guy you really are! I work with plenty of Indians and they all have one thing in common - they don't ever use the word "because" they simply use "as" instead. I think I just found a Mumbain-born Indian guy who has migrated to Britain, and is hoping to get his freak on with the "mystical" white girls which he's only seen on youtube clips and heard stories of through migrated friends. What's worst is he finishes off his strong candidacy by asking "Do white women find Indian guys attractive?" What are you thinking?!? Is that even a question? Of course they do buddy, but your not one of em apparently.
All I'm saying is that if you want to attract a white girl or a black girl, or any other non-Indian girl, I'd start by making a strong bold statement. Perhaps something like "I'm the Indian son of the man who invented the Kama Sutra, and I'm starting a new practice here in London. I"m looking to share my knowledge with attractive and interested students who are (non-Indian / cultural preference) females between the ages of 21 - 30, who are comfortable with their bodies and spirituality. Flexibility and an un-inhibited personality is preferred". I mean you figure with something like this you might at least get a curiosity bang.
The point I'm trying to make here, is that inter-cultural relationships are not easy, but they can also be fun since in today's information age, we are learning about other people at a much faster pace. But the one thing that remains universally true, is that if a guy wants to get a girl, he's gotta be confident and comfortable with who he is, before he can get to know her no matter where she's from, or what color her skin is.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Men, Women & Friendship
Often I've contemplated the idea of a man and a woman just being friends. In the beginning I was an idealist and felt that "sure, men and women can be just friends, and nothing more without sexual tension". Then I grew up and realized how ridiculous that is. Men and women can be friends, but sexual tension will always be there. Women won't admit it, and men can't hide it.
The basic, problem in all of this is the would / wouldn't dillemma. You see, every time a man sees a woman he asks himself the basic question "would I or would I not bang her?" Of course, basic ground rules such as family relationships and things like that apply where this would not be the case. However, for example if I were to walk down a Manhattan block I will most likely ask and answer this question about 25 - 35 times and it will happen within a matter of seconds. The other problem is that 98% of the time the answer is I would, or I would with a bag on her face.
So if that's the case and a guy would not bang a girl, then friendship is a possibility right? Wrong! The problem here, is that when men are genuinely not interested in the woman; 99% of the time that's exactly what attracts a woman to him, and thus, the tension is there. On the other hand, when a guy would bang the girl.....well, we know what happens. He ogles and blatantly undresses her with his eyes, and occasionally gets caught drooling, thus making the friendship a bit uncomfortable.
With that said, I do still believe there are very unique conditions when friendship does remain a possibility. Those conditions are as follows:
- You've tried dating and it just didn't work, so you realize friendship is better
- You grew up with someone
- You form a friendship so close with the other person that you see them as a sibling
- There is a common task at hand which requires both of you to work together, so until your working on that task, you manage to suppress the sexual beast, and keep it friendly (this condition keeps most of corporate America under control)
- You realize that you just don't have a chance with the other person, but they are still cool enough that you manage to be friends
These aforementioned situations allow for conditional friendship between men & woman. I know some of you will read this and say "No way. I've been friends with this girl for years, and she's like my boy. She just gets me. I can go to her for advice and everything." To those people I'd say, "Are you sure your not in love?" Didn't Usher teach us about this on his first album?
The basic, problem in all of this is the would / wouldn't dillemma. You see, every time a man sees a woman he asks himself the basic question "would I or would I not bang her?" Of course, basic ground rules such as family relationships and things like that apply where this would not be the case. However, for example if I were to walk down a Manhattan block I will most likely ask and answer this question about 25 - 35 times and it will happen within a matter of seconds. The other problem is that 98% of the time the answer is I would, or I would with a bag on her face.
So if that's the case and a guy would not bang a girl, then friendship is a possibility right? Wrong! The problem here, is that when men are genuinely not interested in the woman; 99% of the time that's exactly what attracts a woman to him, and thus, the tension is there. On the other hand, when a guy would bang the girl.....well, we know what happens. He ogles and blatantly undresses her with his eyes, and occasionally gets caught drooling, thus making the friendship a bit uncomfortable.
With that said, I do still believe there are very unique conditions when friendship does remain a possibility. Those conditions are as follows:
- You've tried dating and it just didn't work, so you realize friendship is better
- You grew up with someone
- You form a friendship so close with the other person that you see them as a sibling
- There is a common task at hand which requires both of you to work together, so until your working on that task, you manage to suppress the sexual beast, and keep it friendly (this condition keeps most of corporate America under control)
- You realize that you just don't have a chance with the other person, but they are still cool enough that you manage to be friends
These aforementioned situations allow for conditional friendship between men & woman. I know some of you will read this and say "No way. I've been friends with this girl for years, and she's like my boy. She just gets me. I can go to her for advice and everything." To those people I'd say, "Are you sure your not in love?" Didn't Usher teach us about this on his first album?
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
BIO DATA
"BIO DATA." If your an Indian these are 2 of the most scariest words you'll ever hear. It officially signifies that your youth has passed, your still single, and your parents are tired of hearing questions about why your not married yet. For those of you who may not know, Indian parents have 2 great fears. 1 - their child is gay, 2 - there child will remain single after the age of 30. As far as being gay is concerned, its just not allowed. However, if it happens, there is little the parents can do about it. As for the latter, Indian parents have developed an intricate "laissez-faire" system to do everything in their power to get their child married off before the age of 30.
Its quite simple the way it works. During the life of their child they will not permit their children to date, and make them focus on "studies". Then when their child is socially retarded and sent off to college, they will hope the child finds their significant other there. When this does not happen, they panic, and around the age of 26 or 27 if the child is still single they will ask the child to make a Bio Data, or a resume of themselves which they can show other people.
A typical Bio Data contains factual information, as well as astrological information. It typically accompanies a picture of you and looks something like this:
Name: Mr. or Mrs. Patel
Date of Birth: This is very important for Astrological reasons
Height / Wt.: this is usually a lie.
Skin Complexion: for example fair, wheatish, or ashy
Religion: Your either a Hindu, Hindu, or Hindu
Caste: this one can be a deal breaker. Believe it or not, but this one is sometimes also mentioned with information such as the type of Patel you are.
Address: both here, as well as the home in India from which your family has migrated. This is just so we can see if there's anybody that talks smack about you in the motha-land.
Education: this is usually important for the parents
Occupation: I try to write something classy here such as "Part-time pimp/full-time Playaaa", however this one field alone determines your real value in the market.
Hobbies / interests: usually cooking, or traveling
Father's Name:
Mother's Name:
Brother/Sister (s): Their marital status is also listed here
Once this done, these "pimp vouchers" are then traded like stock by parents in the global meat market of 20-something-year old Indians around the world.
What's interesting is the emphasis put on education. You can look like a toe, and be a doctor and the phone will ring off the hook. The ideal catch is a doctor which meets your astrological criteria, and is the right kind of Patel (no pressure here). High honors is also given to Pharmacists, and lawyers. Anything involving IT represents job-security but not a fat bank roll, so parents will usually settle for this, and won't make a big fuss about it.
Although this technique has worked quite well in the past, I've noticed now that its not really doing much. More and more 2nd generation people are growing up and not wanting to get married, and more and more parents are getting disgruntled and having ulcers as a result of this. The new age parents, try to encourage their kids to set themselves up on websites such as http://www.shaadi.com/ which to me seems to be the on-line trading of the pimp-vouchers and the meat market they represent. I truly believe we are getting closer to a day when people will actually be able to trade options on these bio-datas.
As an Indian whose grown up in America this concept is quite foreign, and sounds somewhat insane. However, you can't argue with the results and the numbers. This system, although not perfect has produced many happy unions. I'm now related to several people who have found their match in this meat-market.
Its quite simple the way it works. During the life of their child they will not permit their children to date, and make them focus on "studies". Then when their child is socially retarded and sent off to college, they will hope the child finds their significant other there. When this does not happen, they panic, and around the age of 26 or 27 if the child is still single they will ask the child to make a Bio Data, or a resume of themselves which they can show other people.
A typical Bio Data contains factual information, as well as astrological information. It typically accompanies a picture of you and looks something like this:
Name: Mr. or Mrs. Patel
Date of Birth: This is very important for Astrological reasons
Height / Wt.: this is usually a lie.
Skin Complexion: for example fair, wheatish, or ashy
Religion: Your either a Hindu, Hindu, or Hindu
Caste: this one can be a deal breaker. Believe it or not, but this one is sometimes also mentioned with information such as the type of Patel you are.
Address: both here, as well as the home in India from which your family has migrated. This is just so we can see if there's anybody that talks smack about you in the motha-land.
Education: this is usually important for the parents
Occupation: I try to write something classy here such as "Part-time pimp/full-time Playaaa", however this one field alone determines your real value in the market.
Hobbies / interests: usually cooking, or traveling
Father's Name:
Mother's Name:
Brother/Sister (s): Their marital status is also listed here
Once this done, these "pimp vouchers" are then traded like stock by parents in the global meat market of 20-something-year old Indians around the world.
What's interesting is the emphasis put on education. You can look like a toe, and be a doctor and the phone will ring off the hook. The ideal catch is a doctor which meets your astrological criteria, and is the right kind of Patel (no pressure here). High honors is also given to Pharmacists, and lawyers. Anything involving IT represents job-security but not a fat bank roll, so parents will usually settle for this, and won't make a big fuss about it.
Although this technique has worked quite well in the past, I've noticed now that its not really doing much. More and more 2nd generation people are growing up and not wanting to get married, and more and more parents are getting disgruntled and having ulcers as a result of this. The new age parents, try to encourage their kids to set themselves up on websites such as http://www.shaadi.com/ which to me seems to be the on-line trading of the pimp-vouchers and the meat market they represent. I truly believe we are getting closer to a day when people will actually be able to trade options on these bio-datas.
As an Indian whose grown up in America this concept is quite foreign, and sounds somewhat insane. However, you can't argue with the results and the numbers. This system, although not perfect has produced many happy unions. I'm now related to several people who have found their match in this meat-market.
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