Eye of the Beholder

Not too long ago, a good buddy of mine and I were having a few cold ones on a hot summer day in New York. It was Friday, and people were getting out of work, and getting into bars, which only meant that stupidity was sure to ensue. This friend of mine was telling me about his latest trip from work. He's usually a bit disgruntled when he has to travel, because he's not usually going anywhere fun, and he's usually caught up in a maze of airports, hotel rooms, and client offices. However, this time, he had a dirty grin on his face, which I knew could mean only one thing....he met a girl.

"She was the hottest Indian girl I've ever seen" he said. "I have never seen an Indian girl with such a slammin body" he uttered. My friend began to tell me how he was at the airport, and as most bodacious bodies on women tend to do, this body caught his eye. A tight white blouse, and a black skirt where hugging her in all the right places. Being posessed/intrigued/curious, he made his way over to her, to see the rest of her. "I walked past her on one side, and just from the side of her face, she was amazing. She had sexy lips, and a nice skin tone, with high cheek bones. I'm telling you bro, this girl was gorgeous." I replied, "Wow, that sounds like something. How'd you know she was Indian?" "You could tell, she definately had the classical Indian features and stuff, so if you see her, you'd definately be able to tell she was Punjabi." So he's carrying on describing her in vivid detail, and I'm just amazed, because it takes a lot to get my friend to talk like this about a girl, so I was under the impression that this girl must've just been a goddess from his description. "So what about the other part of her face?" I asked. "You said, you only saw one side right, you didn't get a chance to see the other side of her face?" He says to me "Oh hell yeah, I went in for a close up, and that's when I saw it" he says. "What, dude? What did you see?" I exclaimed.

There are times in this world when two people are such good friends they can almost finish the other person's thoughts. Its hard to explain, but you just know the other person so well, because they think just like you do, and as a result before the person can say something, you almost expect it coming. "She had a herpes sore!" he said to me. "Dude! That's Awesome! A hot chick that gets down!" I yelled back. By now the few folks who were sitting around us and intrigued by this story were privately chuckling by the griminess of me and my friend, but it was true. "Dude, you are the only person who I've told this story to whose had the same exact reaction as me! That is fricken Awesome!" I can't explain it, but for some reason instead of being grossed out by that detail, I immediately pictured a hot chick that's a freak, and it was absolutely hilarious. I couldn't even believe my instant reaction.

"So what happened? You talk to her?" I asked. "Na bro, I saw her man come up to her a few seconds after I saw the mark of love". "What a lucky guy eh?" "You know, I guess there's somebody for everybody" he said. Unfortunately after this discussion, all I could think of were the Valtrex ads, and how everyone claims "to be doing their part", and I was quite hesitant to talk to any female in the bar after that. I figured if she heard our conversation, she was either disgusted with us, or she probably had Herpes and now had new-found confidence and was ready for a one-night fling with someone that's got their head in the gutter.