The Middle-Aged Fat Gene

I recently saw a photo of Angelina Jolie at the Cannes Film Festival. She was pregnant, and still looked hot. I don't know how, I don't know why. However, as I continued to stare at her child-bearing posture and her plump chesticles a thought hit me. I was trying to think of the last time I ever saw an Indian Woman who was attractive at the time of pregnancy or after. I thought long and hard and I came up with 1 person and she was a cousin of mine that is obsessed with working out.

In this moment of truth a sad realization hit me, that as Indians we are given tremendous gifts such as the ability to clip a coupon and find the closest grocery market that gives you double the value, or to memorize the dictionary for fun. However, the one thing that we cannot due is remain attractive after we hit our middle age. I believe that on some level its genetic, and being the astute scientist that I am I call this the "middle-aged fat gene". We all have it. After the age of 35 - 40, the waist lines expand, and we start to accept it. We start convincing ourselves that we look "healthy" and not overweight. What was once an attractive nose ring, is now disappearing in to the wallows of lard from the expanding face.

Although I was depressed by the thought of not being sexy after 40, another thought hit me. All genes have their mutations, and maybe we are in the midst of a generation that can mutate the middle-aged fat gene. After all, Shah Rukh Khan got a 6 pack at the age of 40. Perhaps with the right amount of western influence, we too can remain sexy after 40. A cycle of steroids here, some plastic surgery there, and we're back in it baby! If this happens, look out rest of the world. We will soon be flaunting our sexy pregnant selves all over the place.

On-line Dating

So recently more and more people I know have turned to on-line dating. It seems to be a popular trend that is now infiltrating the Indian culture of America. For many Indians this is new and unexplored territory. For many of us we had limited options to find our soulmates -

1. Meet them in high school / college & date them for many many years and then marry them

2. Meet them in temple and date them for many many years and then marry them

3. Meet them thru parents, and date them for 48 hours and marry them

Finally, the most common

4. Aimlessly wander about at night clubs and bars until in that fateful moment you puke on your beloved's shoes, and decide that they will be yours for the rest of your days. You date them for a few months and rush into something completely unprepared.

But now, everything's changed. On-line dating has come and changed the whole game up. You can totally be yourself and post an air-brushed picture of you with the right light and trick people into thinking you really do look like a movie star first thing in the morning. You can share your hobbies such as cooking (however, I find it odd that no one enjoys cleaning). You can tell people how your fun-loving, and have a sense of humor - but only if its you making the joke.

All in all, I'd say on-line dating is a good thing for the Indian community and the world in general. I think it does everyone a favor because now people can be who they want to be instead of who they actually are.