The Middle-Aged Fat Gene

I recently saw a photo of Angelina Jolie at the Cannes Film Festival. She was pregnant, and still looked hot. I don't know how, I don't know why. However, as I continued to stare at her child-bearing posture and her plump chesticles a thought hit me. I was trying to think of the last time I ever saw an Indian Woman who was attractive at the time of pregnancy or after. I thought long and hard and I came up with 1 person and she was a cousin of mine that is obsessed with working out.

In this moment of truth a sad realization hit me, that as Indians we are given tremendous gifts such as the ability to clip a coupon and find the closest grocery market that gives you double the value, or to memorize the dictionary for fun. However, the one thing that we cannot due is remain attractive after we hit our middle age. I believe that on some level its genetic, and being the astute scientist that I am I call this the "middle-aged fat gene". We all have it. After the age of 35 - 40, the waist lines expand, and we start to accept it. We start convincing ourselves that we look "healthy" and not overweight. What was once an attractive nose ring, is now disappearing in to the wallows of lard from the expanding face.

Although I was depressed by the thought of not being sexy after 40, another thought hit me. All genes have their mutations, and maybe we are in the midst of a generation that can mutate the middle-aged fat gene. After all, Shah Rukh Khan got a 6 pack at the age of 40. Perhaps with the right amount of western influence, we too can remain sexy after 40. A cycle of steroids here, some plastic surgery there, and we're back in it baby! If this happens, look out rest of the world. We will soon be flaunting our sexy pregnant selves all over the place.