Women, Chocolate, Sex and the Truth

I happen to be related to a woman who is absolutely addicted to chocolate. When she talks about chocolate here eyes get bigger and wider, and her descriptions become more passionate. However, I find that she is not alone in this. Chocolate seems to have quite an effect on women. An effect that men will never understand, or appreciate.



Through various lessons in life, I've concluded that women appreciate chocolate a lot. If I had to pick a list of top 5 things women appreciate in this world it would probably go as follows:

1. Tampons

2. Chocolate


3. Sex and the City


4. Brad Pitt


5. Their favorite hair dresser

Somewhere between tampons and Sex and the City is where women rate the importance of chocolate in their existence. That's right if you are a man, and not Brad Pitt, odds are women probably don't care much for you. In fact their attraction to chocolate is so strong that according to this article it directly impacts their sex drive. According to them "Women who have a daily intake of chocolate showed higher levels of desire than women who did not have this habit."

Are you freakin kidding me?!? All this time, I've been trying to figure out how to get women, and pick up hot ladies, and all I had to do was bring chocolate! If this was the case how come no one bottled the scent and made a cologne out of this? Just think about it. The commercial could be hilarious. An unlucky dude gets rejected by a bunch of women. He then sprays on some "Chocolate" - by Ralph Lauren and the women come flocking to him. However, I can see how this would not work, since after licking the dude's neck, most women would realize it is a dude and not a Lindt truffle, and would soon dismiss him.

Anyhow, although I never will understand how important chocolate is to women, I guess the only real correlation I can think of from a guy's perspective is the importance of porn to a man. Porn like chocolate is a secretly desired vice that men are passionate about and intake in small doses on a daily basis. Just like a woman can probably describe her favorite truffle down to the last detail, a guy can probably describe his favorite porno down to the well....last detail. Just like women sneak off and "cheat" with a piece of chocolate in private, men do the same with their version of chocolate (sometimes that's her name). Most importantly just like chocolate increase a woman's desire for doing the dirty-dirty....well I think I made my point pretty clear with this one.

All in all, women will always have a special place in their hearts for chocolate, and knowing this men will always use this piece of information to get out of the dog house as often as they can.