Sex - A Measure of Progress

The last decade or so has shown us an economic boom in the world like none ever witnessed in the history of mankind. As a result we now live in an age where there are more billionaires walking the Earth than ever before. One of the biggest places of this economic boom has been India along with China. In these past few years these two countries which were once considered 3rd-world are now a nesting place of wealthy people. Have times changed? Yes, absolutely. But has society progressed? How does one measure the progress of a society? Is it simply by seeing the standard of living go up, or is there more?

Well, luckily for you the Indian Guy has the answer and the standard of living alone is not a good sign of progress in society. The true sign of progress in a society is determined by how openly the society allows its members to talk a bout sex. That's right folks, I am of the firm belief that the more openly we are able to talk about sex, the farther along we've come as a civilization. With this measure in mind, I'd like to say India's society has progressed by leaps and bounds. Just look at this article below:





This article is from a news paper in India. There is a column by Sexologist Dr. Kavan Lakdawala. In this column his readers can send him some questions, and he gives appropriate sex advice. I'd like to take this moment, to substitute in for Dr. Lakdawala and give the advice of The Indian Guy on some of these questions that have come in:

I had tuberculosis a year ago. I'm off medication. Can I enjoy my sex life?
Hell yeah you can enjoy your sex life! You should've been getting some TB Sympathy sex, but because you didn't (since you were dumb enough to think you couldn't hump and recover at the same time) you now have to make up for it. Take out your dong-wrap and get to work buddy!

Recently I had sex with my wife. My foreskin tore. There are red spots on my penis. What is that?
First of all please take some grammar classes. Second, congratulations on having a wife you actually have sex with - that's great. The red-spots are what we Americans call "rug burn". It means you were at peak performance, and your break pads wore out, and you ended up cutting into your rotor.

I have pain in my lower leg. Could masturbation be the reason? I used to masturbate a lot but I've stopped now.
Okay, I heard it can make you blind, but I have not read any confirmed reports about it causing restless legs syndrome. Masturbation from all accounts should not have anything to do with your leg, however it may cause some nasty tennis-elbow. Also, I don't believe you when you say "I've stopped now" - that is just a bold lie.

I enjoy stimulating my wife manually. She also enjoys the act and helps me to ejaculate. Is this safe?
Buddy, please clarify the difference between manually and automatically? If its what I think it is, then yes, it is safe, but your getting the raw deal. She has all the fun, but you do all the work, and the little guy gets no action. Does your wife also stimulate you manually? Doing this is like sitting inside of a Ferrari but not putting the key in the ignition. How do you know what it sounds and feels like unless you start her up?

I'm having an affair with my neighbour. She wants to have sex with me. I'm 22 and she is 27. Is this okay?
First of all, if you haven't hit that, then your not having an affair. Your just fooling around and avoiding getting caught. The good news is that she's older than you, and she wants to have sex with you. As a result not only is this okay, its also encouraged - you may learn a thing or two. Just remember, don't be a fool and wrap your tool. You don't want to know why the neighbours children have your eyes playa.

Recently I had sex with my uncle is my virginity in tact?
What the fuck!? What the fuck are you thinking? NO your virginity is not in tact, and neither is your sanity you crazy bitch. Avoid all family reunions for the rest of your life, and please do NOT play with your cousins any more.

In conclusion, sex is quite a taboo subject in a country like India. However, because of the problems with Aids, and the idiots who think they can't catch it, its nice to see that there are forums for people to learn a thing or two about doing the hanky-panky. But clearly, sometimes you don't need to know everything.