Men are known for many things. Among them is scratching themselves, the ability to memorize useless sports facts, and of course the ability to fall in love with a car over a woman. However, there is also an undisputed talent that I believe all men have and are not even aware of it. Its difficult to describe, but when the situation occurs most men seem to thrive off their instinctual reflexes. It usually happens when you least expect it, and the resulting response is usually comical and creative.
For example, a man can be doing the dirty-dirty with a mistress named Candy. All of a sudden the phone rings and its his wife. I would not be surprised at all to hear him say "Oh hey honey, how are the kids? Oh that's nice. Kiss lil Johnny for me would ya? Me, I'm not doing anything. I'm just having some candy, and I"ll probably go to sleep after that". I haven't seen this exact situation unfold, however I've been a part of and have seen situations that require the same spontaneous bull-shitting instincts.
Its amazing how quickly men can sober up when they are doing something they shouldn't be doing, or if they're in a place they shouldn't be. You can be in the middle of a club and a buddy would yell out "This is my song bro! I love this song!" He'll usually follow that statement by grinding on an unsuspecting victim - I mean woman. Then the phone would go off and if its his mom or girlfriend you see him run outside with the grace of a squirrel and answer that phone as if nothing was happening. You hear excuses such as "Oh that noise. That noise is the new construction they are doing on my dorm room window. It makes studying sooo difficult, but I do my best. I should get back to my studying, I"ll call you tomorrow? Okay then, good night. Love you too".
In any case, among the many things men are known for I would officially like to nominate "the spontaneous bull-shitting instinctual reflex." It keeps men doing stupid things, and their lives in tact. It can't be taught, but when its needed, every man can call upon it for survival in the social jungle.
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4 comments:
women have these "instincts" too... =/
Dear Anonymous,
I would like to know what these instincts are in women. Please enlighten me.
c'mon you're telling me that you don't know women that lies to their friends or family when they want to do something that they dont approve of? How many times when you were with a women and their parents or someone else calls them and they can make bs up on the spot!. Women are just like men.
The thing is, women do of course lie when they have to, but its usually pre-planned. Which probably makes them smarter and more efficient then men. They have an expectation of that call when they are doing something they shouldn't be doing. Where in my experience, men literally just wing it. Its probably why men get caught more often than women do.
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