Hangovers

You've been looking forward to this night for a long, long time. You can taste the vodka as your driving into the city, and even the Lincoln Tunnel traffic can't wipe the smirk off your face. You haven't seen your buddy in what seems like an eternity, and you are looking forward to not knowing exactly what's going to happen next. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world. There are only two things you know for sure. You'll be with your best friend, and there will be alcohol. Everything else, is secondary. People will come, and people will go, and chances are you will use the island of Manhattan as your personal play ground, but one thing is for sure. Tomorrow you will have a hangover.

Hangovers, are the sign of dedication. It's a reminder that when the going got tough, you got going over and over again. If you have a hangover, walk tall, and walk proud and go into your office smelling like last night . Proclaim your throne, try not to puke, and show the world just what you are made of. You my friend, are not a quitter, and in my opinion that is something worth praising. Most people hate hangovers, and they have good reason to. However, a friend once told me that wisdom comes from good judgement, and good judgement comes from bad decisions. Ordering another round may just be the ultimate paradox in life. The key is knowing how to handle what happens next.

There are a few types of hangovers that most people experience. I categorize them as:

1. Spin
2. Hibernation
3. Joy
4. Cheerful regret

The way I see it, if you have a hangover you've probably had one of the above. The first kind Spin, in my opinion is the worst. You often find yourself wondering why the world is moving so fast, and often find the need to puke several times. It doesn't matter where you are, or who you're with you WILL puke. It will be as relieving as peeing when you have to go real bad. It's brutal, it's terrible, it's biology. The next kind, is hibernation. I've seen a man once sleep 13 hours because he was so hammered from the night before. An earthquake would not wake him up, neither would a naked pornstar. When hibernation hits, the rest of the world will simply have to be dealt with later. Then you have Joy. Joy is one of my favorite kinds of hangover. Side effects include an immovable smile, a pounding headache, and numbness. It's what I'm experiencing as I write this. The world feels kind like your toy, and there is no sense of panic or deadlines in sight. Joy is probably the best type of hangover you can have. It reminds you that no matter what you are dealing with, it ain't that bad. Finally there is cheerful regret. This usually follows a blacking out. You will be told tales of an amazing person, and then those stories will conclude that the person is you. It probably involved singing, dancing, and maybe even questionable licking. For better or for worse, it's all true, and it was all you.

So if you have a hangover, or ever experienced one, just know that you are a champion to somebody.

Desi Parties

Aaaah yes, the Desi Party. Where you wait in line, till your hands go numb, and hope to grind on a drunk Indian girl before her friends spot you and pull you away. I feel in today's day and age the desi party is almost a right of passage of Indian College Students in America. This right of passage is present everywhere, however, in the NY/NJ area it is very prevalent. For those of you who may not know, "Desi" is a slang term for Indian, and a "Desi" party is one that is predominantly Indian. The DJ is Indian, the attendees are Indian, however the bouncer is always Black (usually a big dude).

I remember my first Desi Party like it was yesterday. I was too cheap to pay for the coat check so I waited in line without a coat on a January night in New York. The bouncer kept yelling at people to form a line, and being that everyone was Indian, nobody could understand this concept. There was always 1 or 2 Indian guys with cell phones or walkie talkies going in and out of the place like they were important and there were always hords of idiots trying to tell them that they are important and worthy of entry. "Bro, I'm Samir's girlfriend's brother. he didn't tell you I was coming?" Retarded phrases such as these fill the air, and undoubtedly result in the Indian with the walkie talkie telling the Bouncer "I don't know him. Unless he's got like 6 girls with him, he doesn't get in". Of course, by doing this he was only teasing the poor bastard.

My favorite part of Desi Parties is all the planning involved. First you lookup the party (http://www.desiparty.com/), then you find out who is going. As a guy, the critical thing was to always try to roll with girls, so you didn't look like a loser. You finally decide on a place to pre-game and off you go. The doors open at 10 PM but because your Desi - just to be safe you show up at 9, and the line is already half way down the block. You wait, and wait, and finally the group in front of you gets in. Just when you begin to give up hope you hear those magical words "Let me see your ID please". With shivering hands you give the bouncer your id, and get your ticket. At this point you've never been so glad to pay $20 to walk into a place. Finally, you step foot inside the club and out of the cold, and its a huge family re-union.

Off to the bar you go! Some SoCo and Lime shots are downed (manly enough, and weak enough for the Indian tolerance). The music is always pretty good, and you like a gazelle in the wild you look for your prey. An Indian girl who happen to be dancing by herself. You soon realize this is not the case, and they only travel in packs. So then you chug your drink, and go behind an unsuspecting lady with your liquid confidence. Slowly you approach her. She's not looking and neither are her friends. You make your move! You rush behind her before any other guy can and start violently banging your crotch against her behind in hopes of serenading her. She turns around and gives you a sign that you may continue. Your in! You'v e captured your prey. Your feeling victorious. Just before you let out the Johnny Drama Victory yell, you've been spotted by her friend. She does the unthinkable. She grabs the girl away from you and leaves you by yourself.

In conclusion, this cycle is repeated many times. Each time your dissed the number of shots taken increases. Then in order to hold your head up high the Dj plays Bhangra and you find your boys and dance as if that was what you went for in the first place.