Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Babies + Movie Theatres = Disgruntled Audience

Seriously folks, I know we walk around these days thinking that we own any venue we walk into, when in reality we don't. One such venue is the movie theatre. I once went to watch a movie and it traumatized me to the point where I contemplated never returning to the movie theatre again.
About an hour and a half into the movie there is a couple there with their infant child. Like most infants would do when they are in a dark room with Dolby Surround sound blasting off around them, the infant started to cry. It was the perfect pitched decibel of baby-cry that made you want to gouge your eyeballs out of your head and plug them into your ears so you are no longer subject to this noise. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against parents. When a baby is crying in an airplane I'll tolerate it the whole flight.

What really pissed me off, was when the couple started arguing. "No, I went last time, its your turn to take the baby outside" says the irresponsible husband. "No way! This is my night out, and I want to watch the movie, you go outside" responds the dead-beat mom. Hey I have an idea. How about I take your baby and punt it to the other side of the theatre to see if anyone cares about your baby or your soon to be divorced relationship. I just don't get it. Why would you subject others to this?!?

Enough of this I say. Its time to take a stand. Tell parents to get a baby sitter, or tell them to stay home, and only subject the spawn of their own flesh to their bickering (at least the spawn should have the genetic material to put up with the Bitch-assness of the parents). Take a vote and just let irresponsible parents everywhere know that we're tired of it.

So if your a parent (or in a bad relationship and argue all the time), I sincerely urge you, please don't go to the movies. Its for the sake of humanity.

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