Facebook: Disconnecting People?

Hello people, I hope you're all doing well. I apologize for not posting in a while, I've been quite busy. Anyhow, I guess after all this time, the one thing I learned, is that writing is kind of like working out. No matter how long its been since the last time you did it, its always a good idea to start up again and get back into it. In that spirit, I shall try my best to keep going forward.

In any case, I was recently enjoying a lazy Sunday, and I came across this article in the Chicago Tribune about how Facebook could be destroying relationships. Are you freakin kidding me! According to the article, the new study shows that Facebook causes people to get jealous, and then go out on Facebook, and find evidence there to support their own jealous claims / thoughts. I have news for everybody. Facebook is NOT destroying relationships. PEOPLE are destroying relationships!

I love how everytime we can't control ourselves, we try to find something else to blame. The problem is not facebook, the problem is people, and their stupid jeaousies. Facebook is only a medium. Blaming Facebook for destroying relationships, is like blaming the doctor who brought you into this world, because you're homeless. He had nothing to do with it! He just brought you into the world, the fact that you suck at life, is not his fault. Just like the fact that you can't trust your partner, is not Facebook's fault. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn't be "Superpoking" their co-worker by giving them a digital quickie. I don't know, I just find it kind of ironic, that a group of people were paid to conduct a "study" to measure this kind of stuff. I've never been approached for this kind of study, where do they find their subjects?

Now don't get me wrong, the study is not entirely useless. There is some truth to this. If you have a lot of time on your hands, and you can check out people's Facebook status's all day long, than there is a good chance that you may find something you don't like. However, that's not the point. The point is that people are actually trying to blame Facebook for their own stupidities. For example, the relationship options on Facebook are kind of ridiculous. There is an option to say that you are "married" to someone, or even say you "hooked up" with someone. I wonder what's stopping Facebook from just putting up an option to say "Did the dirty in a highway bathroom with" as an option. I'm sure there are people in Congress that can relate. Perhaps, even an option for the South Carolina Governor could be "Flew to Argentina and had a love triangle with" as an option.

I don't know, maybe its me. However, I think at the end of the day, people need to say what they mean, and mean what they say. Its harder than you think. There isn't a Facebook option for it.

Common Mistake With the New Girlfriend

Ah yes, the days of being single. When you can grind up on anyone you want, say anything you want, and not have anyone to answer to the next day except your buddy who is only there to tell you all the details that you couldn't remember in your inebriated state of mind. Its a beautiful thing - the single life. I highly recommend everyone try it at least once. Just so you know why its necessary to have a significant other to accomplish progress in life. Otherwise, if I didn't have anyone pushin me, I'd probably be found laying on the floor with my receipts from last night, with dollar bills crumpled in my pockets, and a weird taste of hookah, budweiser, and Ciroc taking turns dancing on my taste buds. It would be wonderful, but it wouldn't be productive.

Being "The Indian Guy", I want to take a moment to school some of you rookie guys on a mistake you are bound to make when you go from being single to being in a relationship. When you're single and you go out, its no holds barred. Everyone is up for grabs (sometimes literally), and you go out there and make a fool of yourself. You can use all the cheesy pick-up lines, and work all your "game" and its okay. Your a nut-case, and in many cases you might even be "that guy". You know, the one who makes a fool of himself by drinking too much, but usually ends up creating situations where everyone has fun. All of this is well, and good, and even encouraged.

One of the biggest tools in your arsenal when you're single is your ability to dance. If you can move, and you look descent, and smell okay, there is a good chance a young lady might let you bang your crotch against her caboose. Again, this is well and good, and even encouraged. If you're not a social retart there is even a good chance that you have a group of people you go out with that is a mix of boys/girls. Some of those girls are "just friends" and some of them are girlfriends of friends and you know these girls are "off limit" or "out of bounds". However, after a few drinks, they get all silly with you and dance with you in a flirtatious manner knowing that you mean no harm. Again, nothing wrong with this as long as its just fun and silliness. Usually, if your single for a long time, this becomes a re-occurring thing. Where you go out with your friends, and their girlfriends, and your "girl friends" and you get drunk and dance with them and nothing happens. Sometimes it may get risque, but you never cross the line. At some point, its no big deal and it just becomes part of your behaviour. Taking a shot of soco and lime, then "booty-bumping" your boy's girlfriend is a funny joke.

Then one day you get a girlfriend.

Everything changes.

However, you are a moron, and you don't change! Trust me fellas, this is a classic way to get into your first fight with your new girlfriend. On one hand, you had fun being single, on the other hand, you enjoy sex with another human being.

Most guys after dating the new girl for a while want to bring her around to meet their friends and their girlfriends. So you all get together, and you go out, and old habits die hard. Before you know it, your taking a Soco & Lime shot and booty-bumping your friend's girlfriend again! Big mistake.

What's worst, is that most men don't realize how territorial women can be. In many instances, your "girl friends" or your buddy's girlfriend's had you on demand. If they came up to you and started dancing you would follow suit, because you were single and had nothing else to do. Now, that you have a girlfriend, they will still try the same things, and your dumb ass will forget about your new girlfriend and probably go dancing with them. However, if you do not, and decide to stay with your girlfriend, than it just agitates them even more because they can't have you "on demand" and they start using every man's kryptonite. Provocative gyration of the female body.
Now, if your a veteran of the game, you keep cool and allow your girlfriend to start making out with you in front of them, and thereby claiming her territory (kind of like a dog peeing on a tree). However, there's a good chance your an idiot, and will go dance with your buddy's girlfriend or your "girl friend". In which case, that will be the girl who has claimed her territory. If its the latter, than I'm sorry to say, you are not getting laid by your new girlfriend. Someone just took over the tree she is supposed to pee on, and she ain't happy. Undoubtedly, you will not be allowed to see your friends for a while, and will probably have to do something to make up for it such as go tampon shopping with her.

In either case, I strongly urge all guys that are new in a relationship to be conscious of how stupid you really are and were when you were single. You may think that you are more mature, but "Frank the Tank" is still in there somewhere, and you never know when he will come out. Be smart, and you will be rewarded in the form of fornication, otherwise, its back to the drawing board.

Arranged Marriages

"Dude, how can you marry someone without knowing them?" If you're Indian, and you grew up in America, there is a good chance that at some point in your life, a friend of yours that is not Indian may have asked you this question, and legitimately so. Even if you are Indian, the concept of Arranged Marriage is pretty freaky. The idea of having to spend the rest of your life with someone you never met before can be quite daunting. What I find hilarious, is that in today's day and age people simply try to make the whole thing out to be something that is common and not a big deal. Just take a look at this ad below:





They encourage you to "Discover love, in an arranged marriage". Let me be the first to say, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Telling someone to "discover love" in an arranged marriage, is kind of like telling someone to discover the price of their new car after they've bought it. To me, having an arranged marriage is kind of like buying a car without knowing the price. There is a chance that after you buy it under the hood can be a great v12 engine, or there is a chance that you are left with a piece of crap that will not work, and you will have to pay for it the rest of your life.

People who really "believe" in the arranged marriage system, will tell you all these statistics about how people who got married this way tend to stay together. In my opinion, there are lies, damn lies, and there are statistics. Once again, if you bought a brand new car and got ripped off, there is a good chance that you are gonna tell all your buddies about how much you love your car and you won't admit to them how much you got ripped off. I think when it comes to arranged marriages, it probably works the same way. If you married someone that lays around like a sack of potatoes in bed during sex, doesn't contribute to the income, and is a constant pain in your ass, you will probably tell your friends she's a freak in the sack, "finishing up" med school, and has dinner waiting for you when you get home.

I'm not saying arranged marriages can't work, I'm simply saying that people tend to exaggerate how well they work. I know plenty of people who met through the arranged marriage system and are happy, and I know plenty who have been burned. All I'm saying, is that you will have a better idea of what your getting yourself into if you test drive it first.

Indianizing the Academy Awards

This year's Academy Awards were even more important to Indians than any other award show in history. Now granted, Devdas was nominated for best foreign film in the past, but this year India made its mark in the entertainment world, and it happened in the form of a little movie called Slumdog Millionaire. In true Indian fashion, when the movie was announced as the winner for Best Picture, the stage was bum rushed by anyone who had anything to do with the movie, and Indians showed the world that no matter how big the stage, they still enjoy a crowd. This movie is significant because it showed the many aspects about India, and more importantly Indians. It gave a brutally honest glimpse of what Indians can be like - both good and bad. More importantly, it showed that love and hope are always tied to money.


However, if there is one thing people need to understand about Indians is that once we show up somewhere, we don't leave. Ask London. Now, that we've busted the door and came dancing into the Academy Awards, I'm willing to bet we'll probably be around in this arena for a while (just look at how much software is used to make movies). Therefore, I thought the following suggestions might help the Academy Awards get more in touch with their new consumer base - The Indians:


1. There should be a Bollywood style dance number
- I believe by doing this, they can show Indians that hey we like to have lots of people dancing on stage and into the music of a movie too. However, to make it more authentic I think the backdrop should change to show different locations of the world like they do in the Indian movies.


2. There should be a category for "Best Almost Kiss" in a movie.
- Since Indians just like to do the dirty-dirty behind closed doors and not "glorify" acts of love on screen, their movies tend to be this way as well. For example, an actor and actress will declare their love for each other, get hot and heavy and then make an attempt at a kiss, only to get 1 inch away from the other's lips and then turn away. All the movies have this, and it probably explains why there are so many frustrated people in that country.


3. There should be a category of "What the guy was willing to give up".
- Most Indian movies are about love. When a culture has a caste system often class can come between love. So being the idealistic people that Indians are, they often create love stories that overcome social circumstance. Unfortunately, they just go a little too far. Most of the love stories I've seen involve some wealthy man who meets a girl that is broke and humble. He sees her helping a blind man cross the street or helping a young kid learn his ABC's and pronouncing "Zed" and decides he loves her. He decides he will give up his family and all his money for "true love". They usually end up having the guy's family accept him back and having both the family and the cash. However, people don't understand that when your a billionaire you can probably have the girl without having to give up all your money. But then again, how else you gonna kill 3 hours?


4. There should be a category for "How long can you stretch a movie"
Indians love value and more importantly a bargain. If you don't believe me, go to your local supermarket when corn oil is on sale. Therefore, often times a movie that can be made in an hour is usually extended to 3 hours. Often the story takes unnecessary turns just to make a point that was made at the 45 minute mark. However, the movie-watcher gets his or her 3 hours for the money they paid and that's final! I think its only a matter of time until we run out of ideas and humans start falling for Aliens, and Will Smith will probably be involved.

5. There should be a pani poori stand by the entrance
Considering everybody is wearing fancy ass gowns and tuxedos I think it would be pretty damn entertaining to watch these people eating pani pooris and having that broadcast to the world. Personally, I think it would be pretty hilarious to watch Jack Black eating pani poori before he got on stage to make his speech and then got the farts, but hey, that's just me.

All in all, this movie really helped put India on the map. It showed that Indians are not just quickie mart owners, software programmers, or doctors. It showed that we too have the ability to love another person and their millions.

Giving Thanks

Its that time of year again. The trees are naked, the air is cold, football is in full swing, and we are humbled once again. For it is that time of year when the Native Americans traded some corn with the Europeans who later turned out to be their "Frenemies". However, the important thing to remember is that this is the time of year when we enjoy the two days off from work, stay at home with the ones we love, and fill our bellies and our hearts with cholesterol, fat, and love. But more importantly, it is the time of year when we give "thanks". Its not an easy thing to do. We are always griping and bitching about the things we don't have in our every day lives, that we overlook all the wonderful things we do actually have. With that being said, I The Indian Guy would like to share what I'm thankful for.

The first and most important thing I am thankful for this time of year is the Patel Convention. What is the Patel Convention you may ask? Well just as the royal families in history wanted to make sure they stayed in power and kept all the riches in the family, the Patels of this world, are continuing this tradition in today's day and age. The Patel Community of the world has accomplished and achieved a lot. To keep these accomplishments for themselves, the Patel's designed a system wherein their kids can marry other Patels, and not let anyone else in and ruin the "chosen blood". That's right, the Patel Convention is the meat market of the Patel community, and it is where kids go to find a future "partner" in marriage (or for the night), and parents go to congregate and vent about how old their kids are getting and not finding anyone. You see, in the Patel community, having a child that is not married past their mid-20's is a disgrace to the family and the parents of the child may even feel like they ruined the world with an ugly child or even worst, maybe they have to admit that they are not capable of producing pretty children because they are not pretty. NO! That is not the case, for Patels are not allowed to be ugly! Thank god, all is safe.

The next thing I am thankful for is the Patel Women of the Patel Convention. Ah yes, there are few things in this world that are as unique as a Patel Woman at the Patel Convention. There are not too many women who have the ability to grind with you, maybe even hook up with you, and then tell you that you are not worthy of dating because you come from New Jersey and you must be a "playa". Just because two people hook up after 5 minutes of talking and 2 shots, does not make the guy a "playa" because he's from Jersey. It makes the girl a "fun" girl, and the guy an "opportunity seizer". It sure is a beautiful thing when a girl who you try to hook one of your friends up with, gets mad at you because YOU were not interested in her. However, you didn't want to ask her out for yourself because she was older than you by a couple of years, and Patel women are just not comfortable with dating a younger guy (even if he reads at an older level). However, after you do ask her out and date her, she has the right to be mad at you for being too young. Only a Patel woman can make you feel special and stupid at the same time. It truly is a rare thing.

Another thing I am grateful for of course are the guys of the Patel convention. You see, Patel guys don't like to be too confrontational, however they can be extremely competitive. So what do they do? Well, they cock block, but not in the traditional way. The Patel convention is the one place in the world, where a guy can compliment you so much that you actually look bad. How can this be? How would you even go about doing this? Well, the savvy Patel hater has developed a way. For example, when you are talking to a girl, a guy that you've never seen may come up to you in front of the girl and say something like "Yo! What's up bro! Man, this guy is such a player! I can't even believe how many women this guy was with last night. You're the man bro!". He will drop this little bomb, and then walk away, and also watch the girl get disgusted by your promiscuous ways, and leave. Thanks a lot douche bag! However, not all the Patel guys are bad, there's just a few rotten apples. The Patel Convention is the one place where you will probably make more friends with guys than with girls. Its probably the one place where you will meet another fellow Patel who thinks your cool and will buy you a drink from the other side of the room, just because its a Friday afternoon and the game is on and your not working. Its also the one case where guys may even get a bit too drunk and start telling you their dark secrets such as "Bro, I barely know you, but I feel like I can trust you with this. I met a girl, but I have a crush on her mom, and I can't control myself. I'm gonna make my move at Garba tonight".

All in all, I am thankful for the convention of Patels and the many memories it has given me. Its the place where I first got wasted, and the place where I will always go to feel at home. Although I may not find my wife there, I know its the one place I belong. To call the Patel Convention a failure just because you don't find your marriage partner is like calling Hugh Hefner a failure for not finding true love. Sure, he may not have exactly what he's looking for, but I think most of us would settle for what he's got.

The Truth About Diwali

We are getting to that time of year when families start to come together. This week its the Indian festival of lights, known as Diwali being celebrated by brown people all over the world. They will clog their arteries and allow cavities to thrive with their sugar filled sweets that are made from ghee (melted butter). Of course these sweets will satisfy the soul, and send Indian spirits flying high. Its in times like these when families will enjoy each others company, and the kids will enjoy the $11 they get from everyone's feet they manage to touch. Its a special time. We put aside our differences for those few moments, and take part in the beautiful festivities of Diwali. We light fireworks, we eat to our heart's content, and of course we have fashion shows and dance competitions.

Diwali has turned into the biggest excuse in the world for Indians to borrow clothes, and walk down a run-way in front of their college peers and friends. For those Indians who can dance, this is their chance to show their stuff. This is their golden moment, to get up on stage and show that even though we wear traditional Indian outfits, we know how to re-mix our songs to hip-hop beats and bust a move that is anything but traditional. At this time of year, college campuses all across the country are filled with hormone-raged college kids that are bossing each other around and trying to figure out what the coolest bhangra step is that they can use into their dance routine. They are hitting up all the malls, and buying the most expensive clothes they can find. They are carefully wearing these clothes in such a way so that the price tag is not seen, and the clothes can be returned after the show is over. But most importantly, they are attacking the streets of the Indian markets to see if they can sucker a business owner to sponsor them. They will explain that their student body comprises of hundreds of students who will never leave campus, but will get exposure to their store that is a 30 mile drive away from campus.

Why do we do this you ask? For one reason, and one reason alone. The Afterparty. That's right. If you are an Indian in college, the Diwali show after-party is the cafeteria talk of the following week. Its where you find out who was dumb enough to wear the fashion-show clothes to the club, and had a drink spilled on their outfit, and will now have to actually purchase the ridiculous thing they intended to return. Its where the boy who was partnered up with a girl for a dance at the show will actually have enough liquid courage to actually grind on her in a crowded dance floor. But most importantly, the main topic of discussion will be the throngs of people that did not get in because when the bouncer asked to make a straight line, they didn't know what that meant. Last but not least, it is the venue where the girl who really didn't like the song that the group picked for the dance gets to bitch about it and start a fight. Aaah yes, the Diwali Show After party is also where the high-school kids with fake IDs get in and try to grind with drunk college chicks. In their own way, it is a festival of lights you might say.

In conclusion, there is one thing that Indians love to do more than anything else, and that is celebrate. Our entire culture revolves around celebration. When god came to earth we celebrate, when he leaves we celebrate, and to remember all the milestones accomplished in between we celebrate. Its just now, in the 21st century, massive prayers have been replaced with Diwali Shows that try to "fuse" the American and Indian cultures. Its is not too uncommon to see an Indian person wearing traditional clothes dancing to an Indian song, which eventually gets remixed into a Lil' John Song, and the dance moves turn into something you'd see on BET at night. Our ancestors, would truly be jealous.

The Stank Profile

I've come to the conclusion that although we are all unique as humans, as cultures we have several traits that help identify us and provide a common thread for people of a certain background, creed, or location. I am not a racist, or any kind of ..-cist, however I've realized that different people have different odors...which I like to call the Stank Profile.

Where did this genius revelation come from you might ask? Well, it happened yesterday evening when I was at the Ft. Lauderdale airport Chili's restaurant grabbing a bite to eat waiting for my flight to arrive. I was eating my chips, and blackbean burger, when out of no where a gentleman comes next to me and asks if the seat next to me at the bar was available. It was so I said "Its all yours". I then returned to take another bite into my veggie heaven sandwhiched between to pieces of bread with just the right amount of hot sauce, and it happened. A nauseating odor had infiltrated my nostrils. It was highly repulsive yet familiar. Then I realized, I recognized this odor from the gym. It was the stank of an African-American man-sweat (my buddy that used to spot me at the gym, stank like this all the time after some cardio).

In that instant, not only did I abandon my meal, pay my bill, and get out of there, I also realized that we as humans have a stank profile. This is the general profile of odor we emit when our deoderants and anti-perspirants have failed us. I've narrowed them down to the following:

Indians - A combination of paprika, lemon juice, & diarrhea

Blacks (by this I mean those from the islands as well as Africa...I don't mean this in a racist way) - a combination of sweat, rotten lettuce, & stale beer

Whites (non-Jewish) - a combination of burnt hot dogs, puke, and olives

Whites (Jewish) - a combination of spoiled cabbage, wet hair, and mayonnaise

Hispanic - a combination of refried-bean-fart, jalapenos, & Taco Bell meat

Oriental - a combination of burnt-oil, cough syrup, and onions

I hope I did not offend anyone by this, I was hoping to offend everyone equally. Actually, if your honest with yourself, you may even find some truth in these observations.

A Religous Experience

In our temple, when men and women enter they are required to sit on 2 seperate sides. Over the years, I've gotten into many debates with people regarding this. Personally, I never thought it was a big deal. As a dude, let's be honest - you think of women 99.9999% of the time, and the rest of the time is devoted to sports. Therefore, the idea of focusing on god, and not on women kind of made sense to me. Having a bunch of guys around me, definately helps me focus on the task at hand.

However, many people over the years have argued with me about this issue. They told me things like why does your religion do this? Is it really necessary? I don't see the point. Sometimes they made convincing arguments. But today....today I have the be all end all of all their arguments. I can confidently say that we seperate men and women so this doesn't happen.

According to this article an Italian couple got caught having sex in the confessional box while morning mass was being said (talk about morning wood!). Upon reading this I was thoroughly jealous, and enlightened (not to mention inspired). From this article I learned that "where there's a will there's a way" but also, that maybe seperating men and women might not be such a bad idea. I also learned, that there's probably a good reason why we don't have a "confessional box" at our temple.

I mean, if you think about it, there's a billion Indians roaming around today, and that happened for one reason and one reason only. Back in the day, India had a strong agricultural economy, and as a result people were BORED OUT OF THEIR MIND! I mean, really how exciting can it be to watch tobacco grow? As a result they started slappin skins to kill the time. In fact they got so good at this they made a whole journal for the world to follow (I present to you.....The Kama Sutra). The tobacco was growin and the babies were poppin!

So what does this have to do with religion you ask? I think the one place to really not think about getting your freak on was temple. However, being the horny folks that Indians are, they probably realized that it was just too much to have your baby-momma sittin next to you lickin her lips and giving you the "I want you eyes", while you're trying to make sure you don't re-incarnate into a toad. As a result, I believe that they finally decided through trial & error and realized that it was easier to think about god, when the sexual tension was absent. Is it better or worst? I'm not sure, but I'd like to install a "confessional box" to see if it makes a difference.

Stickin It To The Man

We live in tough times. The dollar is sinking, and cost of oil is sky-rocketing. Jobs are scarce, and those who have them should consider themselves lucky. Employers, seem to be able to do what they want when they want, and sometimes expose their employees to horrific injustices.

However, according to this article a noble few are standing up to these grave injustices. According to a recent survey pointed out in that article 39% of people surveyed between the age of 18-24 years of age would consider quitting their jobs if they banned access to Facebook. That's right these few, proud members of society have the courage to stand up for what's essential to career development and that is the ability to superpoke someone!

Although the author of the above mentioned article thinks this is ridiculous, I say to her "oh yeah, well what if someone is talking smack about me on their wall? Huh?!? Then what am I supposed to do?" At a loss for words? I thought so. Facebook is an essential part of our culture. Not only do we need to access from our work computer, but the corporate blackberry's should have the application there, so we can constantly update our status.

9 AM: "Raj just got to work"
9:30 AM: "Raj just got coffee"
10 AM: "Raj just noticed the receptionists boobs"
10:30 AM: "Raj is going to take his morning dump now"
11:30 AM: "Raj is back and relieved"
12 PM: "Raj is off to lunch"
1 PM: "Raj is feeling sleepy"
2 PM: "Raj just had an unexpected boner and had to sit at his cubicle til it passed and was late for the meeting"
3 PM: "The meeting was pointless, and Raj was assigned more work"
4 PM: "Raj just beat his bitch ass friend Sanjay in Scrabble on Facebook!"
5 PM: "Raj is checking out the happy hour"
5:01PM: "Raj thought about asking the cute receptionist to come, but then pretended he had a cough and kept walking"

Can't you see how these facebook status updates are not only useful to employers, but society in general? What is wrong with this lady? She just needs to get with the times. My guess is that she hasn't been superpoked in while or worst. Someone posted a picture of her without tagging her (gasp!), I can't even think of the horror.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

If you've ever been to a "Desi" or Indian Party, you've undoubtedly have seen it come to an end or have it broken up due to a fight. Its an absolutely amazing phenomenon that has transcended various generations of Indians, and to this day the fighting continues. The reason I call it a phenomenon is because generally speaking, Indians probably have the worst genetic make up when it comes to fighting. Unless we were gonna start swinging stethescopes, or using our moustaches as swords, I think we're pretty useless. Of course, the fighting is not caused by some deeply universal cause, but rather something even more profound.

For example, the following conversation may cause a fight:

Raj: Yo, kid what you gonna wear to the party tonight?

Jay: I was thinking about rocking my new Express shirt

Raj: Oh word, that's cool.

Then both Raj and Jay show up to the party.

Jay: What the fuck bro! I told you I was rockin my new Express shirt and you still wore the same one. That's fucked up shit son. You don't do that to your boy!

Raj: Oh yeah....what you gonna do about you skinny ass punk?

Jay: I'll show you what I'm gonna do about it.

At this point, Jay instead of being a man and taking on Raj, will pull out his cell phone and call 10 of his buddies. "Fellas, we got a code red! Raj, that punk ass is wearing the same shirt as me, I need you guys here right away. He goes down tonight".

Jay: Raj, you know what I shouldn't have over reacted

Raj: That's right, you better know who your talking to

BAM! WHACK!

Just then Raj gets hit over the head with a beer bottle, and 10 of Jay's friends start punching and kicking him, and take the poor guy down. This will undoubtedly lead to Raj getting Jay the same way at the next party, and fighting continues. Yes, Mahatma Gandhi would be so proud.

What makes the whole thing even more intriguing is that living in the 6-degrees-of-seperation culture we live in, Raj will probably end up marrying Jay's cousin. That's when things get really interesting. For example, to keep the feud going Jay may not invite Raj to the family barbecue, or worst he may invite him and make him drink Kingfisher while the rest of the family gets to enjoy Johnny Walker Black.

All I'm saying, is that aren't we missing the point here? The real culprit is Express for making more than one kind of the same exact shirt - those bastards! However, I can't blame Express for the stupidity that is "Young Indian Man", but I bet if I researched it a little better I'd find the same situations exist in most cultures.