BIO DATA

"BIO DATA." If your an Indian these are 2 of the most scariest words you'll ever hear. It officially signifies that your youth has passed, your still single, and your parents are tired of hearing questions about why your not married yet. For those of you who may not know, Indian parents have 2 great fears. 1 - their child is gay, 2 - there child will remain single after the age of 30. As far as being gay is concerned, its just not allowed. However, if it happens, there is little the parents can do about it. As for the latter, Indian parents have developed an intricate "laissez-faire" system to do everything in their power to get their child married off before the age of 30.

Its quite simple the way it works. During the life of their child they will not permit their children to date, and make them focus on "studies". Then when their child is socially retarded and sent off to college, they will hope the child finds their significant other there. When this does not happen, they panic, and around the age of 26 or 27 if the child is still single they will ask the child to make a Bio Data, or a resume of themselves which they can show other people.



A typical Bio Data contains factual information, as well as astrological information. It typically accompanies a picture of you and looks something like this:








Name: Mr. or Mrs. Patel


Date of Birth: This is very important for Astrological reasons


Height / Wt.: this is usually a lie.


Skin Complexion: for example fair, wheatish, or ashy


Religion: Your either a Hindu, Hindu, or Hindu


Caste: this one can be a deal breaker. Believe it or not, but this one is sometimes also mentioned with information such as the type of Patel you are.


Address: both here, as well as the home in India from which your family has migrated. This is just so we can see if there's anybody that talks smack about you in the motha-land.


Education: this is usually important for the parents


Occupation: I try to write something classy here such as "Part-time pimp/full-time Playaaa", however this one field alone determines your real value in the market.


Hobbies / interests: usually cooking, or traveling


Father's Name:


Mother's Name:


Brother/Sister (s): Their marital status is also listed here



Once this done, these "pimp vouchers" are then traded like stock by parents in the global meat market of 20-something-year old Indians around the world.



What's interesting is the emphasis put on education. You can look like a toe, and be a doctor and the phone will ring off the hook. The ideal catch is a doctor which meets your astrological criteria, and is the right kind of Patel (no pressure here). High honors is also given to Pharmacists, and lawyers. Anything involving IT represents job-security but not a fat bank roll, so parents will usually settle for this, and won't make a big fuss about it.


Although this technique has worked quite well in the past, I've noticed now that its not really doing much. More and more 2nd generation people are growing up and not wanting to get married, and more and more parents are getting disgruntled and having ulcers as a result of this. The new age parents, try to encourage their kids to set themselves up on websites such as http://www.shaadi.com/ which to me seems to be the on-line trading of the pimp-vouchers and the meat market they represent. I truly believe we are getting closer to a day when people will actually be able to trade options on these bio-datas.

As an Indian whose grown up in America this concept is quite foreign, and sounds somewhat insane. However, you can't argue with the results and the numbers. This system, although not perfect has produced many happy unions. I'm now related to several people who have found their match in this meat-market.