How to Keep a Man Happy

I recently came across this article on Wikihow about how to keep your (sober ) man happy (between the ages of 21 - 30). I was thoroughly annoyed by this article, just like I'm annoyed with most articles written on this topic. Its obviously written by a woman. I find it hilarious that so many articles about keeping your man happy are written by women. Its like a marriage counselor giving marriage advice, whose never been married themselves. I mean seriously people, can we get a man to write these articles?! If I wanted to know how to bake a cake, I wouldn't ask my mechanic - you know what I'm saying?

In any case, this person goes onto explain that among other things you shouldn't "convey yourself to your man". God forbid! Then this person goes onto explain "helps if you are the same way with your man, telling him the honest-to-goodness truth about what he says and does as it happens". Well I have a NEWSFLASH: THE PROBLEM WITH MOST PEOPLE IS THEY DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY OR SAY WHAT THEY MEAN! I'm willing to bet that 90% of all relationship fights occur, because both the man AND the woman don't say the truth about how they feel. Even if its a good thing, they feel the need to hold back. Why? I don't know. I guess we're afraid of showing who we really are.

Continuing on to the wonderful advice, this person goes onto explain "Don't assume that doing nice things for your man, even things that are traditionally viewed as subservient, will make him view you as any less independent". Yes, that is exactly how to keep us men happy. By NOT BEING NICE TO US! You know, us guys, we loooooove to bicker and bitch it out with the ladies, because we have nothing better to do. Let me explain something here. Bickering to women is like jerking off to men. Sometimes we do it, just because there's nothing else going on! Its a win-win since it provides pleasure, and kills time all at once.

I just find it sad, that we live in this day and age where websites ask for personality profiles, and magazines go around giving suggestions of hundreds of things that can be done to keep men and/or women happy. When the truth of the matter is that we are simple creatures with simple needs. We don't have to give into all the hype. I believe Dave Chapelle said it best when he said "If you wanna keep a man happy, its simple. Suck his dick, play with his balls, and make him a sandwhich".